Granola

A “ Granola” can be described as a Vegan, Organic, Non-GMO, BPA-Free, Grass Fed, Grass Finished, Dairy Free, Nut Free, Soy Free, Lemon Wedge Deodorant wearing overly environmentally friendly non-hippy-but-also-a-hippy-at-the-same time stereotype (Think hippy minus the drugs and the tie dye.) Granolas often smell like curry and likely live in an off-the-grid tiny house in the middle of some field they probably don’t actually own. In said tiny houses in an effort to save the climate, they likely redirect their “all natural toilet waste” from their glorified port-a-potty into their veggie compost to later use as “natural” fertilizer. Granolas often dress in an outdoorsy fashion that also resembles that of a well dressed hobo. It is not uncommon to identify a Granola wearing Birkenstocks, Athletic Shorts, Camel Back backpacks, North Face Jackets, and more regardless of whether or not they take frequent hikes. Granolas may also be seen driving a Subaru Outback with several decals on the back windshield that often refer to climate change and world peace.
I love Jan but after her month long getaway in the deep woods of the Rocky Mountains, she turned into a total granola!
by NoboHobo January 19, 2022
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granola

Someone who is in their 20-30s, who distinguishes him or herself by not conforming to the modern twenty something trends. Someone who shows distaste in 'hipster' things, conservative beliefs, religion, and anything that is the traditional norm such as weddings.
"I hate girls who take pics of coffee in a hipster cafe just for instagram. Just enjoy the moment and not touch your phone for a day!"
"Wow you are so granola."

"I want to live in a van for a year and travel the world with little money and stay off the grid!"
"Your instagram is all nature, so granola!"
by quidproquoamend11 July 01, 2018
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Gucci Granola

Outdoorsy wealthy poseur.
Wears expensive outdoor gear type clothing ALL of time, with brand labels exposed & conspicuous. Only talks about organic food and extreme sports.
Chris and Bea are so Gucci Granola; their Toyota Tacoma has micro brew and social justice stickers all over the back.

The Gucci Granola chick outside Whole Foods wanted me to sign a petition to ban cars from the freeway.
by JHGC8 June 21, 2017
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Granola Stomp

The desire to or actually have sex with those who are "hippie" or "granola" even though they may not be your normal sexual tastes. Kombucha is usually involved.

Subarus, rock climbing, all natural or sporadic bathing habits, and a dash of B.O. are typical traits of these "granola" or "hippie" folk.

Usually a one time experimental experience.
I would totally granola stomp that chick.

I had a granola stomp last night.
by a-letto March 19, 2021
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granola smoker

Overly environmentally-conscious hippie. Usually with a beard. Tend to be liberals, or even communists if extreme.
Guy 1: Why is Jim's cupboard full of empty coke bottles?
Guy 2: He drinks out of those. He's a granola smoker
by Nygma February 05, 2015
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human granola

Kara Hoffman- the biggest granola eating machine in the North West.

A human granola is person that typically drives a Subaru, goes on hikes, eats Clif Bars and a ton of granola...
Sheesh, Kara is such a human granola, look at her wearing those Birkenstocks, eating her organic yogurt and granola!
by Bbjkhdjkgklggkdlkgddffd454545b February 27, 2017
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Smooth Crunchy Granola

Used to describe a type of indie Jewish worship experience enjoyed by young urbanite Jews, typically unorthodox & upper-middle class
"So you went to that new Friday night service in Harlem, right? How was?"
"I loved it! It was so spiritual! Why don't you come with me next week?"
"Was it like smooth crunchy granola?"
"What do you mean?"
"Did they sing in a circle and try to get everyone to meditate?"
"Yes!"
"Not my thing. I'll just stick to my Orthodox shul."
by klezmoreh98 January 25, 2024
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