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Nowell
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by Djdhfjdjakks June 27, 2021
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Get the Oakley Newell mug.A long text message which your cell carrier has to break up into a minimum of 3 texts due to its length. Generally consisting of wrenching emotional details, with a back story. i.e. kook ups, break ups and various other relationship dramas.
You should read the Text Novella Shelley sent me. Her and John had a huge blow out fight last night and he packed and moved his stuff this morning.
From Shelly 1/3: You aren't gonna believe what happened, John started again on me with his jealousy routine. He accused me of dating all the guys I work with again.
From Shelly 2/3: I tried to explain that we sometimes all get together for drinks after work. Totally innocent. Then he started asking me why I don't ever invite him to these things if they are "totally innocent", he actually did the air quotes if you can believe it. So we yelled forever last night, he slept on the couch and packed his clothes and left this morning!
From Shelly 3/3: Can you believe it? Should I be happy he is gone? I miss him so much already!!!! Should I call him?
From Shelly 1/3: You aren't gonna believe what happened, John started again on me with his jealousy routine. He accused me of dating all the guys I work with again.
From Shelly 2/3: I tried to explain that we sometimes all get together for drinks after work. Totally innocent. Then he started asking me why I don't ever invite him to these things if they are "totally innocent", he actually did the air quotes if you can believe it. So we yelled forever last night, he slept on the couch and packed his clothes and left this morning!
From Shelly 3/3: Can you believe it? Should I be happy he is gone? I miss him so much already!!!! Should I call him?
by Omega in Colorado November 23, 2010
Get the Text Novella mug.Newell, WV: A four street shithole in the northern panhandle of West Virginia. Founded in 1905 when a man named Newell gave up his last hope of finding anywhere decent to live and settled down with a one-eyed, toothless, backwoods woman and produced Newell's first official retard. Newell's two claims to fame are its large population of mullet-wearin', wall-eyed, gun-totin', tobacky-chewin' illiterates; and the presence of Mountaineer, a gaming resort filled with coffin dodgers and welfare cases spending their gubment checks and shitting themselves because they don't want to leave the nickel slot machines. Outsiders often hear the sound of "Dueling Banjoes" in their heads when driving through it.
Outsider: What the fuck is that? Banjo music?
Newellite 1: What's he saying, Cletus?
Newellite 2: Cecil, you know I don't know forrin'!
(Newell)
Newellite 1: What's he saying, Cletus?
Newellite 2: Cecil, you know I don't know forrin'!
(Newell)
by Frammed September 26, 2008
Get the Newell mug.unlearned, ignorant, simple person, as distinguished from the educated; an ignoramus who makes threats using blogs Lies like a sidewalk Tax Evader "Big Daddy" Newell likes to pretend they have a job but also likes being destitute possess low to none intellectual powers, commonly, a person without understanding from birth; a natural fool; aka hillbilly living in a squalid shack with lots of little ones from 3 different teen moms loves white tee shirts and baseball caps, raging anger issues since birth aka as a bad temper, very violent towards small kids and women and some types of cats and dogs and gardening equipment. Is easily calmed down by watching a goldfish swim in a small tank "simple things for a simpleton"
hillbilly Newell Big Daddy Status Quo squalid Boyce fool ignoramus idiot liar bad temper violent goldfish simple
by TruthPosted September 29, 2011
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