1. Check the dirty laundry. While you woman is in the shower, check her bra and panty size. Nothing ruins a sexy gift of lingerie quicker than buying her something two sizes too big. No matter how good she looks, she's self concious about her figure.
2. You are not shopping for Heidi Klum. Be realistic about your selection of lingerie. Buy something appropriate to your woman's body type. Does she have a baby belly, and an awesome rack? Shop a baby doll which draws the eyes to the cleavage, and covers the belly. That corset may look hot on some 90lb boob jobbed model, but your woman will hate it. She may actually want to draw a breath at some point in the evening.
3. Don't be shy. When you are at the lingerie store, get one of the ladies to help you. Now don't be a creep about this, but try to pick out a sales lady with your lady's body type. Give her your woman's measurments early, and she can lead you to something appropriate.
And again, don't be a creep. Keep your eyes on the task.
4. KISS Keep It Simple, Stupid. Think of lingerie as gift wrapping. You want easy access. You do not want to be fighting with a half dozen doubleback hooks, behind her back, while in the throes of passion. A drawstring at the cleavage is perfect. Fun and easy to reveal the prize inside.
5. Complete the package. So you've got some lingerie she will look hot in. Does it need stockings? Again, consult with the sales lady. Buy her favorite wine, or choclate covered strawberries.
2. You are not shopping for Heidi Klum. Be realistic about your selection of lingerie. Buy something appropriate to your woman's body type. Does she have a baby belly, and an awesome rack? Shop a baby doll which draws the eyes to the cleavage, and covers the belly. That corset may look hot on some 90lb boob jobbed model, but your woman will hate it. She may actually want to draw a breath at some point in the evening.
3. Don't be shy. When you are at the lingerie store, get one of the ladies to help you. Now don't be a creep about this, but try to pick out a sales lady with your lady's body type. Give her your woman's measurments early, and she can lead you to something appropriate.
And again, don't be a creep. Keep your eyes on the task.
4. KISS Keep It Simple, Stupid. Think of lingerie as gift wrapping. You want easy access. You do not want to be fighting with a half dozen doubleback hooks, behind her back, while in the throes of passion. A drawstring at the cleavage is perfect. Fun and easy to reveal the prize inside.
5. Complete the package. So you've got some lingerie she will look hot in. Does it need stockings? Again, consult with the sales lady. Buy her favorite wine, or choclate covered strawberries.
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by The Jerkman December 28, 2011
Get the Rules of Lingerie Shopping mug.According to a witness at the scene, the victim was engaged in an act of lingerlingus when he inadvertently swallowed a bra hook and subsequently expired.
by gartholomew March 7, 2011
Get the Lingerlingus mug.Related Words
Linker
• Linker Parker
• Linkerati
• addon linker
• back linker
• non-linker
• sex linker
• Nsfw linkers
• Linner
• linger
Get the Lickerbait mug.EXAMPLE 1:
Linkreators such as Forbes Magazine, Brian Dean, and Tai Lopez all linked to the buyers guide on the best Fidget Spinner Widget Hand Toys I just published.
EXAMPLE 2:
After the Linkreators linked to my website I felt like my job as an SEO specialist was clearly a success!
EXAMPLE 3:
Due to the inflated nature of blog articles online it's never been so important to find linkreators that will link back your website.
Linkreators such as Forbes Magazine, Brian Dean, and Tai Lopez all linked to the buyers guide on the best Fidget Spinner Widget Hand Toys I just published.
EXAMPLE 2:
After the Linkreators linked to my website I felt like my job as an SEO specialist was clearly a success!
EXAMPLE 3:
Due to the inflated nature of blog articles online it's never been so important to find linkreators that will link back your website.
by Kaboomski June 7, 2017
Get the linkreator mug.A combination of meeting for a late lunch, and early dinner, with alcoholic beverages. Usually resulting in a full day of drunken debauchery.
I met my friend Michelle for linnerinks at 3pm on Thursday. We drank until 4am on Friday, and forgot to eat.
by 542$ September 10, 2019
Get the linnerinks mug.An AU about the nine idiotic heroes in the Legend Of Zelda franchise. These nine consist of:
Name (game(s) Title, era)
Sky (skyward sword, hero of the skies, sky era)
Four (minish cap, four swords, four swords adventures, hero of four, the force era)
Time (ocarina of time, majora's mask, hero of time, era of the hero of time)
Wind (wind waker, phantom hourglass, spirit tracks, hero of winds, era without a hero)
Twilight (twilight princess, hero of twilight, twilight era)
Warriors (hyrule warriors, hero of wars, war era)
Legend (a link to the past, links awakening, oracle of seasons, oracle of ages, a link to the past, triforce heroes, hero of legend, era of light and dark)
Hyrule (the legend of zelda, the adventure of link, hero of hyrule, era of decline)
Wild (hyrule warriors: age of calamity, breath of the wild, breath of the wild 2, hero of the wild, era of the great calamity)
This AU was created by Jojo on Tumblr
Name (game(s) Title, era)
Sky (skyward sword, hero of the skies, sky era)
Four (minish cap, four swords, four swords adventures, hero of four, the force era)
Time (ocarina of time, majora's mask, hero of time, era of the hero of time)
Wind (wind waker, phantom hourglass, spirit tracks, hero of winds, era without a hero)
Twilight (twilight princess, hero of twilight, twilight era)
Warriors (hyrule warriors, hero of wars, war era)
Legend (a link to the past, links awakening, oracle of seasons, oracle of ages, a link to the past, triforce heroes, hero of legend, era of light and dark)
Hyrule (the legend of zelda, the adventure of link, hero of hyrule, era of decline)
Wild (hyrule warriors: age of calamity, breath of the wild, breath of the wild 2, hero of the wild, era of the great calamity)
This AU was created by Jojo on Tumblr
Person #1: Yo dude did you see the new update?
Person #2: Update? To what?
Person #1: Linked Universe, man! It's an amazing AU Jojo created on tumblr!
Person #2: Update? To what?
Person #1: Linked Universe, man! It's an amazing AU Jojo created on tumblr!
by IlikeTLOZ&Anime February 13, 2021
Get the Linked Universe mug.A third-party social media landing page commonly used to link multiple profiles to a singular link. Often times it is used by women to link their OnlyFans accounts to places like Instagram where a direct link wouldn't be allowed.
TL; DR If a woman has this in her bio, she's a hoe.
TL; DR If a woman has this in her bio, she's a hoe.
Winthrop: So, I went on her IG and found her linktree page.
Elbertson: Oh shit, she a hoe?
Winthrop: Quite right, a most ostentatious hoe indeed.
Elbertson: Oh shit, she a hoe?
Winthrop: Quite right, a most ostentatious hoe indeed.
by squilliam fancyson the third November 28, 2022
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