german jesus

Popular nickname for German NBA player Dirk Nowitzki.

NBA champion (2011)
NBA Finals MVP (2011)
NBA Most Valuable Player (2007)
13× NBA All-Star (2002–2012, 2014–2015)
4× All-NBA First Team (2005–2007, 2009)
5× All-NBA Second Team (2002, 2003, 2008, 2010, 2011)
3× All-NBA Third Team (2001, 2004, 2012)
50–40–90 club (2007)
NBA Three-Point Shootout champion (2006)
NBA Shooting Stars champion (2010)
NBA Teammate of the Year (2017)
BBL Most Valuable Player (1999)
FIBA World Cup MVP (2002)
FIBA EuroBasket MVP (2005)
3× FIBA EuroBasket Top Scorer (2001, 2005, 2007)
6× Euroscar Player of the Year (2002–2006, 2011)
2× FIBA Europe Men's Player of the Year (2005, 2011)
Mister Europa Player of the Year (2005)
Silbernes Lorbeerblatt (2011)
German Sports Personality of the Year (2011)

Person 1: Look, it's german jesus!

Person 2: What? Jesus wasn't german?

Person 1: Ugh, it's Dirk Nowitzki, also known as German Jesus

by FreudianNoodle January 21, 2018

THE GERMAN SHEPHERD

The act in which an individual bites the hand of the aggressors first born then proceeds to urinate on said child. The German Shepherd can be confidently and gracefully used to assert dominance in a variety of situations if performed with dignity.

Harold: Hey Dennis the boss wants us to wash all the gipsy piss off the windows.
Dennis: Fuck this, I'm about to give this cunt The German Shepherd!!

by Dennis@ F October 17, 2022

german shepherd

An extremely intelligent and capable dog that is widely used for K-9 units, guide dogs for the blind and deaf, search and rescue dogs, narcotics and explosives detecting dogs, herding dogs, and of course family companion. They are a medium-sized breed weighing anywhere from 75-90 pounds and 22-26 inches at the shoulders. They come in all black, black and tan (which is the most popular), and white (which is disqualified from the show ring). They will never let you down and will protect you with their life against anything, human or animal. They are very easily trained and are extremely strong. They can be vicious to intruders if they feel that their owner is threatened in any way. They are extremely gentle with children and protect them too. They love their owners immensely no matter what the owner is like. They can outrun even the fastest olympic athlete with ease. They are the best bodyguard and companion you can ask for.

My German Shepherd bit a robber that was about to get into our house.

by Mr. G January 7, 2005

German Muffin

Nobody really knows. Sounds like a sex position.

Ron Swanson: "The fuck is a German muffin?"

by Ron motherfuckin' Swanson December 7, 2011

German Carnival

While a male drops an Upper Deck, a girl drops an AC Slater and performs a Blumpkin at the same time.

Sandy was the freakiest girl I ever met, she let me have a German Carnival on the first date.

by meeks105 August 19, 2009

German Engineering

German Engineering

Engineering at its finest.

German Engineering is responsible for bringing us the:

Telephone
4 Stroke ICE (Otto Cycle)
Diesel Engine (Diesel Cycle)
CRT
Syphilis test
Scientific pregnancy test
Ammonia Refrigerator
Rigid Airship (Zeppelin)
V2 Rocket
Rotary Engine (first prototype, not design)
Turbojet (to some extent, independent collective work of many)
EM Waves / X-Rays

1: omg Collien Fernandes is so hot
2: she was engineered in Germany, what can u expect?
1: ...that's the gayest thing u've ever said.

by rzhhhh July 11, 2010

German Vampire

When a female has her period in someone's mouth and that person runs around flapping their arms with the blood from the period drooling out of their mouth making them look like a vampire

my girlfriend who works at burger king gave me an awesome tasting german vampire last night, i ran around the city giving people kisses

by Bobby O' Conor June 3, 2008