An Informal and Vulgar expression used to show Shock, Suprise, Disbelief or Displeasure

(Similar to "Well call me a Monkey's Uncle")
Man 1: Hey Did you know Dan won the lottery
Man 2: Well fuck my ass and call me a Bitch after all this time it finally happened
by RevolutionKing888 May 26, 2023
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Jade: Timothy I'm pregnant
Timothy: Well tickle my nuts and call me Cyril, who's the father?!
by Cyril April 16, 2017
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to get someone to butter you up and then to name you greasey
Well butter me up and call me greasey

ok -x-gets out butter-x- hold still
by FairyWings November 02, 2004
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An sarcastic exclamation that can be used in a variety of ways. Usually used to to emphasize how glaringly obvious something that has been said is.
A: I had to go to school yesterday.
B: Well, shit in my mouth and call me your sister - student's going to school? Really?
by DarkLite January 17, 2007
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An expression you say when you're in disbelief
Person 1: Did you know that dogs can't look up?
Person 2: Well gag me with a spoon and call me Criss Angel! I didn't know that!
by Vftw October 19, 2007
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Guy: Dude, that guy just got shot up on the block by a gang of well hung hispanics with glocks and m16s!
Other Guy: Well fuck me in the ass and call me queer!?!?!?!
by swanybeast69 June 26, 2010
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When someone bamboozles you, being bamboozled

When someone makes a fool out of you
Declan: I told you Dave, she sent nudes to five other guys. You owe me five bucks!
Dave: Well Fuck me up the ass and call me your bitch!

Dave: *Hands over a crisp 5 dollar bill
by DirtyDave42069 March 08, 2017
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