Shelling the Port

Naval term for smashing a land based female

I shelled the port when we stopped over at portmouth docks - shelling the port

by The Sleeper mk2 January 17, 2012

pig of the port

Naval term used for the ugliest girl in port. This term is used most frequently in clubs, bars, etc when ship is in port and the ugliest girl is spotted in the establishment.

Didja' see the pig of the port? She's trying to hook up with everybody tonight!

by Atomic Johnny March 30, 2005

titties spotted off the port baw

Fuckin titties bigger than any floatation device known to man kind therefore it’s referred to as titties spotted off the port baw.

Captain: All hands on deck titties spotted off the port baw!
Me: Damn that bitch is a grenade with big tits and daddy issues!

by YungTBagger January 13, 2023

Boat has left the port

A situation or circumstance which has already passed the point of no return; A turning point where decisions can no longer be made; Waiting too long and missing your chance at various opportunities

"She has a new boyfriend its too late man, that boat has left the port"; "Deadlines passed, the boat has left the port there's no way my application will be accepted now"

by TheJuliusPepperwood February 26, 2025

Any Port in the Storm

When the storm is coming in, dock your boat anywhere you can. Also, When the bar is closing and all of the good looking girls are leaving, settle with any fat/ugly one.

Bartender: Last call.

Guy: I'll take 1 and a bottom shelf long island ice tea for Bluto.

Bartender: Really?!

Guy: Hey, any port in the storm

by experienced fuck up April 15, 2012

Any Port in the Storm

Sailor Dialect meaning, essentially: when you're in trouble, any way out is a good way out.
Y'see, back when people sailed the seven seas with reckless abandon, a crew was more likely to find the nearest port than to risk ship and crew in a life-threatening storm. This phrase is probably most applicable to the pirate-sorts, as this phrase suggests that anything is better than getting screwed, and pirates liked that sort of shady-around-the-edges shiznit.

(thunder, lightening.)
Pirate #1: 'Tis cap'n's orders ter drop anchor at the nearest port!
Pirate #2: Aye, any port in the storm, sez i.

Math Student #1: Dude, I may have cheated on that math test, but I stayed up all night watching reruns of Cheers! What else was I supposed to do?
Math Student #2: Hey, any port in the storm.

by Simon Floyd November 27, 2003

Race the Storm into Port

(v.) to run into the bathroom and make it to the toilet moments before shit involuntarily spews from your anus.

That Mexican food hit all at once and I had to Race the Storm into Port.

by AeroEng July 10, 2010