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masturbatory contingency

The natural mental ability all people possess that allows them to quickly and dynamically assess the situation and environment they are in to decide whether or not it is practical to masturbate at the exact moment in time.
My mother wasn't due to be back home for another 10 minutes, so I thought I'd slip in a quick wank. However, masturbatory contingency told me that it wasn't worth taking any chance of her walking in on me.
by Scekhcsy Foxmonk August 8, 2010
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masturbator's cramp

Pain and swelling in the muscle around the mid-arm, elbow area which is caused by excessive masturbating. Not to be confused with Gamer's Wrist.
"Look at that huge whelp on Johnny's arm. Think he gets beaten?"

"Nah, it's probably Masturbator's Cramp."
by DesPERRYado April 21, 2005
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masturbatology

I have a degree in masturbatology. It's a hands-on degree.
by Omnipotent Overseer December 30, 2008
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masturbatory overtones

When someone has that hint of touching themselves in their voice when talking to them on the phone or from behind a closed door.
I called my boy Joe and between the echo sound from the bathroom and the vibes in his voice, I totally detected some masturbatory overtones.
by Korbenbirdman March 13, 2011
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masterbatorium

A confined space used for masterbation. A masterbatorium will sometimes have pictures of naked bodies hanging on the walls for visual stimulation. Those little rooms in the porn store that you stick quarters in, those are masterbatoriums. A masterbatorium will generally smell of lotion or crusted semen. You get a feeling of filth when you walk into a masterbatorium.
The guy who lived below me had his room completely wallpapered with centerfolds of Playboy Playmates, this was obviosly a masterbatorium.
by Russ Buss April 8, 2006
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myspace masturbatory aid

A hot chick on Myspace whose photos are used as masturbatory aid.

You may ask yourself why someone would search for pictures of hot chicks on Myspace instead of just using porn or pictures of celebs.

Well, the alluring part of Myspace pictures is the innocence and the fact that they were most likely not expecting their photos to be used as masturbatory aid.
Porn just won't do it for me anymore, I need Myspace Masturbatory Aid.
by deathwish124 May 13, 2009
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masturbatory knitting

When you decide to enter a period of celibacy, and take up knitting to fill the void in your life.
I know this girl who recently decided to lay of the sex for a while, but she uses masturbatory knitting to relieve stress and pass the time in bed.
by Joe Salone October 18, 2010
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