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Lance Armstrong

Cancerous growth on super steroids prone to lying and bullying truth tellers.
That rapist pulled a Lance Armstrong on the stand when he mentioned the victim's skirt.
by Herman Rorquefish May 28, 2015
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lance armstrong

A man who can do more with one testicle than most could do with a pair.
Lance Armstrong rides his bike fast. With one testicle.
by captain kirks number 2 bowl December 28, 2005
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lancearmstronger

A person who is always quick to point out the flaws in something another person did, but lacks the balls to do anything himself.
"Dude you shouldn't have even tried to talk to her, it was obvious you were going to get shut down."

"Yeah well you know what you damn lancearmstronger? I'm sleeping with your sister."
by D H December 6, 2007
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Lance Armstrong's Testicle

The testicle Mr. Armstrong had removed due to a cancerous growth.
can be used randomly to create awkward situations
"hey dave"
"morning hector"
"did you hear about lance armstrong's testicle?"
....
....
"how was your weekend hector?"
"alright"
by huehuehueHUEHUEHUEHUE May 20, 2013
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Lance Armstrong

A great but overrated cyclist. Seven Time winner of the Tour De France. Often called the greatest cyclist ever by passive American cycling fans that have never heard of Eddy Merckx, Bernard Hinault, Fausto Coppi or Miguel Indurain. Merckx and many others went on to race in hundreds of races while Armstrong focused on the Tour. His only other races were often training for the Tour at Tour de Georgia or Dauphiné Libéré. Merckx raced every race to win. Lance often was just training for the tour and along with his contemporaries would not take the risk seen in the Coppi-Merckx Era.
LA Fan: Lance Armstrong is the greatest cyclist ever!

Reality: No way dude. Eddy Merckx or Coppi.

LA fan. Who? you're crazy!

Facts: Merckx! Cycling was around before 1999. Merckx won 525 races and won the Giro D' Italia and Tour de France five times. Lance only talked about racing the Giro. Never even showed and has never ridden in most of the Classics like Paris-Roubaix which Merckx won three times. Also never attempted the Hour Record as he hinted on for years. A record for which Merckx is the standard.

LA fan: But Lance won the Tour De Georgia.

Reality: Dumbass!
by Paris-Roubaix January 27, 2008
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Lance Armstrong

When a girl gives a guy head when she has plutonium in her mouth.
Man, I wish I didn't have to go in for this ball surgery tomorrow. Damn hooker tricked me and gave me a Lance Armstrong!
by Joshe December 3, 2006
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Lance Armstrong Pong

A game of Beer Pong or Beirut played with one ping pong ball rather than the traditional two.
Our game of Beer Pong turned into Lance Armstrong Pong when the dog ate one of the balls.
by Rob M.H. October 21, 2008
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