self helpful

a condition of somebody that reads a lot of self help books and thinks they can solve every problem in life, often recommending these books to their friends instead of actually listening and giving genuine consolation

"I'm so bummed-out caus i just broke up with my boyfriend"

"o, i had that problem once too, you should totally read insert annoying self help title here."

...() () (thanks, you're so self helpful)

by pixelfairy June 24, 2008

helpful douche

someone who is overwhelmingly helpful but comes off as a jackass

-hey guys instead of helping you finish this project am just going to stand in a corner and dictate everything that needs to be done and tell you how bad of a job your doing.
-thanks helpful douche

by lydia5 December 30, 2008

Randy the Helpful Pineapple

The pineapple helper of Stuff Magazine.

Randy the Helpful Pineapple says…

by adonkeyisaass December 19, 2003

Non-helpful helpful boomer

The non-helpful helpful boomer is typically found in online groups on Facebook, but can infest other sites. The non-helpful helpful boomer will see a question asked online and will feel a compulsive urge to answer the question, even if they don't have any answers. Some may in fact use the opportunity to brag about something expensive they own to do the job.

For example;

"Hey does anybody know if I can use a printer to print out the templates to use and save some money, as I'm a little broke?"
Nh.h.b: "I would never, it takes too much time, but I do own a brand new top of the line cricut machine that I use to do it all for me."

Other nh.h.b. "I buy mine precut, so I don't know"

Third nh.h.b "Sheep are nice"

I can't use Facebook groups anymore because they are overrun with non-helpful helpful boomers.

by EvilA.J. February 22, 2023

Helpful

The act of assisting your partner getting his penis back in you after it fell out during sex.

My girlfriend was helpful last night after, my cock slipped out while she was riding me.

by Captian Unicorn May 5, 2003

Helpful College Grad Cards

Fill-in-the-blanks college graduation cards for people that are either way too lazy to make up their own cards or are way too stupid to even know what a graduation is.

Brad: I need some help... I just bought some college grad cards and I really don't know what to write on the inside of them! Maybe you would know what to do...?

Donna: Let me see those cards.

(Looks at the college grad cards)

Oh... those are just some HELPFUL COLLEGE GRAD CARDS. You just have to follow the instructions...

Brad: What are instructions?

Donna: Ugh... just give them to me already... just like in high school... I have to do everything for you...

by Ginja Spixes August 31, 2011

helpfuck

Helpfuck is when you haven't had sex in a while so a friend practices with you by having sex with you.

Anna it's my first date in a long time tomorrow and I'm not sure if I still got it can I get a helpfuck?

by Rogueleon October 5, 2016