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Farmer John salt lick

An act where a male dips his moist testicles into a bucket of salt. The male then climbs up onto a cattle fence with his testicles free for all the world to see. He then proceeds to call over the cattle which have quite the liking for salt. Whilst the bovine is licking the man's testicles like a melting ice cream cone, the male proceeds to thrust his penis repeatedly into the nostril of the cow until climax.
Old man Smitha was always sure to have at least one sick cow with a runny nose to prevent chaffage during his daily performance of the farmer John salt lick.
by Kenneth Fister July 14, 2010
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farmer john cheese

pass me that farmer john cheese! (please)
pass me that farmer john!
by michael foolsley December 3, 2009
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The Farmer John

when you shit in someones mouth and they proceded to give you head while being fu*ked by a beast of burden or other largely endowed animal
When I came home from the fair I called Bubba...then we unloaded Bessie from the trailer and did The Farmer John.
by Wooly Wombat March 27, 2005
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john farmer

a guy that's poor but has great morals and makes money by farming (by use of child labor) and selling drugs
by quaner January 4, 2022
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Farmer Johnned

She didn't contact me again after I farmer johnned her. Maybe it was her first time.....
by slumbercat2k January 11, 2015
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Elton John's Foosty Farter

A delightful cocktail shot consisting of 1 part Cointreau, 1 part Mozart chocolate liqueur and 1 part Mozart white chocolate liqueur (or Baileys).

Should taste and resemble as if EJ has post bumlove, shoved a Terry's Chocolate Orange up his foosty farter as a buttplug to prevent man custard seepage, then as this begins to melt a willing gimp felches his manky ringpiece, spitting the contents in equal measures into shot glasses.
Barman those shots were amazing! What do you call them?

That's Elton John's Foosty Farter

Another round of EJFFs please my good sir!!!
by elvi888 August 10, 2024
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