Fake Email Job

Gainful, probably fully remote employment where your only responsibility is to respond to emails. Fake email jobs can be accomplished whilst drinking at a bar, or from a beach in the Bahamas. It's not a fake email job if you actually contribute directly to the company's product or service, nor if you hold an executive role where your decisions have a real impact on lots of people. Fake email jobs are more in line with middle-management roles.

Enrique used to be a software developer, but after five years at IBM he got promoted to a fake email job and had a daughter. Now his whole job consists of sending pithy emails between diaper changes and trips to the park with his family.

by cinemarob1 September 16, 2021

email courier

An individual who approaches someone's desk or workstation in a work environment almost immediately after sending them an email, usually to confirm that the email has been received.

Bill: I just sent you an email. Did you get it?
Mike: Probably, I haven't checked.
Bill: Can you check?
Mike: Uh yeah, looks like I got it.
Bill: Thoughts?
Mike: My immediate thoughts are you're an email courier and a douchebag.

by Jock Tam July 28, 2009

Email Swirl

Used to define an email thread that becomes unmanageable, unending, and painful. A defining element of any circle swirl, is the fact that the initial question is gunned down by eroneous crap; causing the person w/the inquiry to leverage telephony to address the problem.

Darrin emailed his colleague Eileen for assistance with a work related problem. Unfortunately, Darrin cc'd his project team and an email swirl ensued. Darrin had to finally call Eileen directly, to obtain the needed response.

by John Spenker March 4, 2008

Email Victims

The art of courtship and flirtation in the modern work environment.

Vivienne really fell for my email victims game. A couple of worthless emails and a few drinks later and she was feelin' it.

by A.P. All Day March 12, 2008

kindle-email

An email so long, you have to use your kindle to read it.

Hey dude! TLDR, this is a kindle-email.

by brannewyn October 29, 2012

email

Once an efficient and fast method of communication and message transferring, now a way of harassing Internet users with spam, credit card/insurance offers, porn links, and "Increase Your Penis Size By 5 Inches" advertizements.

Despite using a junk email filtering program, it is still a chore to delete 30+ messages a day.

by AYB November 6, 2003

Email Douching

The act of cleaning out your email inbox before your boss gets a chance to read it.

Dude, what are you doing?
Email douching! I think I'm about to get fired!

by mybosshasitoutforme October 4, 2012