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Customer Service

A job which causes your ass to bleed like hell, your psyche to be corrupted by severe hatred and psychosis, and which has significantly increased the suicide rate of humans. You always have to take it up the ass by these whiny, bitchy, brain-fucked assholes that are called "customers" who do nothing but scream, complain, and make your life a living hell. Finding an actual intelligent and non-bitchy customer is like selling a pack of Grand Prix cigarettes: it's so fucking rare that it almost never happens.
-"I'm sorry but I do not have enough money to cash this payroll check at the moment."
"What? No, I want a manager, right now."
"Fine, bitch, I'll call a manager for you, but it's not going to change the fact that I don't have enough money in my fucking till."

-"OMG THIS IS THE WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE I HAVE EVER HAD, YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE ANY MORE CHEETOS IN STOCK, THAT'S IT IM NEVER COMING HERE AGAIN, WALMART IS GOING TO DRIVE YOUR ASS OUT OF TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Go ahead. I'm a full-time college student working almost a full-time job at minimum wage, sleep-deprived and hardly getting homework done on time. You don't know how few shits I give."

-"I want your number to corporate because these cookies rang up 99 cents more than advertised!!!"

-"OMG THATS IT IM REPORTING YOU GUYS TO THE BBB FOR FALSE ADVERTISING!!!!"
"Cool story bro, want a fucking trophy or something?"

-"I swear, once I graduate and receive my degree, I'm going to kiss all of you asshole customers goodbye for a real job!"
by corruptedbyhate April 9, 2013
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Nexon Customer Service

Guy 1: So, I was hacked right? So I sent in a ticket to Nexon Customer Service.
Guy 2: What?
by personofwhichwhodoesme December 11, 2011
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Customer

An incredibly stupid person. These people are often found in department and grocery stores and show no signs of common sense. Many times they can be rude, cruel, and obnoxious.
This store has too many horrible customers ruining our job.
by Stanzfield July 25, 2008
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Xbox Customer Support

1: A pain in the ass system for trying to fix a problem but just leads to more shit wrong with your system then before.

2: A secret underground tunnel full of indians (not feather indians, dot head indians), and mexicans that do not know what the hell they are doing and google your question as you ask it.
Guy 1: My xbox sounds like it is fixing to explode because the fan sounds like a helicopter.
Guy 2: Have you called xbox customer support?
Guy 1: Are you fucking high!??!?! I called and they said there should be a slight noise coming from the fan. They can't get it through there head that it is loud enough to wake up my neighbors.

Dude 1: I GOT THE RED RING OF DEATH!!!!
Dude 2: Did you call xbox customer support.
Dude 1: Yeah. They don't know what the fuck they are doing. They said it should be green not red, and I could have swore he was googling porn in the background.
by X CHAZZ X November 29, 2009
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cuntomer

Annoying species of human often found lurking in shops and restaurants. A cross between a cunt and a customer. Can usually be identified by the upturned nose and asking of stupid questions/stating the obvious!
Aha, the shop's quiet I can have a cigarette. Oh balls, here comes another cuntomer
by Azzylum July 22, 2008
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cuntstomer

Customer + Cunt = Cuntstomer. Describes retail customers who think you should wait on them hand and foot. Especially try to act like they know more than you when they ask you a question.
I told the cuntstomer we don't return Betamax players, especially ones without reciepts.

Circuit City has a lot of cuntstomers.
by mistahtom November 29, 2005
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Customer

An acronym that stands for “Completely Unreasonable Selfish Twit, Often Miserable and Ethically Reprehensible.”

While most often used to describe idiotic, self-entitled shoppers or other patrons, this swear word can be used to refer to anyone whose actions are born of a sense of entitlement and general lack of higher brain function.

Many customers are unaware that this word is an insult, and will proudly use it when referring to themselves and their so-called rights.
“I am a customer, I want what I want, and you don’t get to ask questions!”
“Wow, he started yelling at you because you wouldn’t have unprotected sex with a complete stranger? What a fucking customer.”
“He is such a customer if he thinks you can get an hour and a half of footage down to 15 minutes and still use ‘a lot’ of it.”
by Rampaging Hill Giant September 11, 2019
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