Contrary to modern belief a country bumpkin can, in fact, spell and they are also articulate members of society.
Also, there ARE female members of this discriminated against group. The females are usually hotter than any other female from any other race/group and once aquiring the male that they chose for life never lose him because they are simply the best at what they do.....in every possible sense of the phrase. :-)
Average dude that managed to get a bumpkin female: My woman is the best that I ever had or could ever hope to have.
Average dude stuck with average girl: My chick is so fucking superficial. She can't cook, clean, articulate or put out decent sex.
Average dude that managed to get a bumpkin female: Sucks to be you man....I got to go get some from my girl. Later.
by countrybumkin April 15, 2005
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When a man receives oral sex while moving his bowels in an outhouse
I gave billyjoe a country bumpkin in wisconsin.
by Jonah Weiss August 20, 2009
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A member of society who writes long, ramblimg, and disjointed thoughts. Puns never intended.
Country Bumpkin is my newest BFF and I love chatting with her in my spare time.
by M Jane Wagon July 11, 2008
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The act of giving a man oral pleasure while he moves his bowels in an out house or port-a-potty.
Last night during the parade, Henry gave Herb a country bumpkin
by DangerousDaryl December 24, 2006
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Ugly ass country boi/gurrl who dips and drives a shitty truck
Ayy you fuccin country bumpkin. You're truck sounds like shit
by Luh mayo March 29, 2017
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Not to be confused with all southerns, a country bumpkin is a shameless motherfucker. Typically from the North Georgia mountain area, whose only concern is their last pack of eagle 20s cigarettes and whatever discount they can get at the local Chinese buffet. They work at Walmart, they shop at Walmart, and they smell of Walmart
Some country bumpkin almost ran me the fuck over in their sea foam green Chevy pickup truck
by yaboiclarence September 29, 2019
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Getting head from a baby cow while taking a shit in an out-house
When his aunty sent Jim-Bob to collect eggs he would sneek a country bumpkin in the out-house behind the barn. Bessa would complain but he liked it when he got his jimmy jostled.
by Aneta November 7, 2007
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