Ass Card

A cue-card size piece of paper or thin cardboard with the word "ASS" written on it. When one person acts like an ass to another, the ass-ee can give the card to the ass-er as a means of letting the person know that they crossed a line and are just acting like an ass. Generally seen as a peaceful alternative to punching someone in the arm for being an ass. This comes in handy in places where punching is considered inappropriate, such as the workplace, dinner with the in-laws, and church.

A: Hey dude, your mom's cute.

B: Dude, that's weird.

A: Seriously man, she's so hot I'd TOTALLY do her.

B: *Hands ass card over* You crossed a line.

by JoePackage August 20, 2010

ass carnival

A total "cluster fuck" of an occurance; ie a "bag of smashed assholes", a "soup sandwich".

The game turned into a complete fucking ass carnival once it started snowing.

by JonTuna December 30, 2007

ass carpet

A thick growth of hair on a man's (or, I suppose, a woman's) ass. Extremely unattractive.

'Whenever he gets drunk he thinks it's funny to pull his pants down and show us his butt, but the joke's on him. Now everybody totally knows he has a CRAZY ass carpet.'

by Something_Vague July 15, 2007

ass cardigan

Similar to ass hat but with the cranium and large part of the upper torso shoved up in there too

Barry is an ass hat but Gary is an ass cardigan.

by mjcheez September 27, 2019

ass caroler

One whom, during the Christmas season, goes door to door tossing salad instead of singing. A particluarly popular practice among fruits.

*ding dong!*

Beth: Jon, I just heard the bell ring! I'll get the door!

Jon: No honey! It's greg! He's a fucking ass caroling again!

Beth: Ew. Go get my .45! I'll spread some Christmas cheer to that dirty ass caroler!

by JakE October 23, 2007

Ass Carrot

A complete fucking loser who tries to act cool and makes him/herself look even dumber than they actually are in the process.

" Man, that Gina chick was all tryin to show me up at the bar last night, and then she drank a Jell-O shot and fucking puked all over her friend's tits, what an Ass Carrot!!"

by Dixon Syder March 19, 2007

ass carving

1)the act of profusely having straight or gay anal intercourse usually resulting in some kind of bleeding of the rectum

2)raping of the anus enforced with a sharp object or shank; especially in prison

Roger: Damn John I did some intense ass carving with that malaysian hooker last night!!!
John: You DO know that that hooker was a transvestite right?
Roger: Well, that would explain the penis...

by Patrick Moeller July 13, 2007