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absolutively

do you like girls ? absolutively !
by PompousDeviant December 5, 2011
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Free Speech Absolutist

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! AHA! He said this! He said he was that! He banned people immediately! For doing the thing that he is an absolutist about! HA! That’s hilarious! That’s a hilarious thing to do! That’s sounds like something I would do! And I’m evil! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You hear the Prophet Lord Dr. Professor Jordan Beatrice Peterson (leave be upon him) say that he wants to collude with the government officials he knows personally to create an online facsimile of hell for people who do don’t keep their speech within the confines of his conceptualization of “acceptable discourse”!? I guess the red skull guy was right about him being the type of guy who would collude with the government to silence dissidents, huh? That is wild! That is wild my guy! Look at these sorry sacks of shit!
Elon Musk “I’m a free speech absolutist!”

Elon Musk “And I’m Elon Musk! I gave my child a retarded name because I’m a solipsistic who things I’m living in a simulation created explicitly for me! Nothing I do matters because nothing is real (except me)! I like to fuck people’s wives on a bed of my fathers emeralds! Like that scene from the Pierce Brosnen (Bronson? Bronsen?) James Bond movie where he does that... except with emeralds instead of diamonds!”

Elon Musk “Shit, hey, I’m Elon Musk too! Look at me!”

Elon Musk “Parody” “Hey, I’m following the rules! Oh? I’m banned anyways? Aw, that’s no fun. The freeze peach isn’t very absolute here.”
by Hym Iam November 9, 2022
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Absolutesalmon

An absolute salmon is a large or small fish caught by two or more big mons.
It’s an absolutesalmon yo
by BigMonRoySturgis January 22, 2021
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New Year's Absolution

Easily described as the feelings of relief and consolation that you feel when you find out that all your friends gave up their New Year's Resolution(s) too.
Person 1: 'Aren't you supposed to be at the gym?'

Person 2: 'Hey well Frank went out to the bar yesterday!'

Person 1: 'Oh, thank god, it's New Year's Absolution.'

Person 1: Sighs and light's a cigarette.
by Bustedcoolguy December 30, 2009
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Absalutist

A Gay guy who REALLY gets off on another guy's sixpack.
While I worked out at the gym, an ABSALUTIST just couldn't take his eyes off me.
by Wico Iye Owaci January 7, 2012
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Sketus Absolutos

A thot that is so powerful not even the thot slayer cannot slay it. If you see one show them the cross and scream “BEGONE THOT” warning STDs may occur if you are in a relationship with one.
Jasmine: Hi Sam

Sam: Begone Sketus Absolutos
by Thethotslayer October 8, 2019
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Absolutist

A person who holds absolute values, theories, or principles, in philosophy, political, or theological matters. With unwavering conviction.
The adoration Hannah had for Amin was one of an absolutist (unchangable)
by Olivebranch April 13, 2017
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