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Technochondriac

A person who, after using the web to research a minor ailment, convinces themeself (because so many other non-medical professionals have spoken about it with such authority in their blog) that they now have a disease of major proportion.

Becoming a hypochondriac is so much easier now with all the technology at hand!
Bill has a toothe ache, so decides to look up the symptoms online. After reading several blogs about people with the same symptoms, he realizes that it's not a toothe ache at all, but rather a full-blown brain tumor, likely in its final stages. Bill, himself, is now a full-fledged Technochondriac.
by jeansy August 2, 2010
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technoschmerz

Anxiety, depression, and hopelessness resulting from an individuals inability to keep up with the ever-changing landscape of technology, including applications, social media, and computers.
I am a complete technoschmerz
by Helena Green September 18, 2017
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Technochocolate

1) Really good chocolate.
2) Really good techno with lightstick raves.
I totally need to get me some of that technochocolate.
by Mavhunter May 27, 2004
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Technochondria

Not unlike hypochondria, but with reference to technological ailments, rather than medical.
technochondria is demonstrated by repeated reporting of technological errors that aren't really there, likely for attention.
Tech Support: That woman was in again today, gotta be the 12th time with that same printer and nothing's ever wrong. Must have Technochondria.
by Dylan Byrnes April 19, 2005
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Technochondria

An excessive preoccupation or worry about having a serious technical issue.
Mr. Johnson has a sever case of technochondria. He's always complaining about his internet being slow, even though it's working as well as everyone else's.
by taoistlumberjak April 10, 2007
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technochav

Savedd up all their benefit and drug money, now have both a computer AND a decomposing car on the front lawn.
"You wanna come over tonight Charlene? I just downloaded Torque, innit?
by Anonymous July 22, 2004
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technochondriac

The friend you have that runs 4 antivirus programs, 10 different freeware anti-malware packages and is running zone alarm, norton internet security AND the windows firewall at the same time? The same guy who insists that defraging his hard drive every weekend makes surfing the internet faster?

Yeah, him.
(As defined by Dax420 on Reddit)

{Call to software company}
Customer: I installed your {program}, and now the geek squad is telling me I need a new hard drive!

Agent: Sir, I apologize, but I'm afraid that there's no way our {innocuous application} could physically damage your hard drive.

Customer: Oh yeah!? Well GOOGLE says your program destroys thousands of computers every year!

Agent: I am not one to question the Google sir, but I am telling you; it's not possible.

Customer: Then explain why GOOGLE has 40,000 results when I search for "{software name} destroyed my computer"!!
Agent: PEBKAC?
Customer: What??
Agent: Sir, I'm afraid you're a technochondriac.
Customer: *click*
by thisnameissoclever February 11, 2010
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