paper towel hipster

type of hipster that prefers paper over plastic

Paper Towel Hipster: Dude! Don't drink that cocktail with a plastic straw! Think of the turtles...
Hipster: Oh. Yeah. I almost forgot. Thanks!

by El-Paulo117 February 26, 2020

Paper Towel Destroyer

A person who destroys partial or whole rolls of paper towels by grabbing it with their sopping wet paws, leaving a visible moist hand print. They are usually lacking in the very basic rules of office bathroom etiquette.

Bob: Who the fuck used the john last?

Victor: Guess.

Bob: It was that fucking paper towel destroyer again, wasn't it.

Victor: Yup. I hope its not pee-pee.

by Umberto Guarvadez November 29, 2007

Paper Towel Perforation Tantrum

Going absolutely banana-bat-shit crazy when taking paper towels and they won't tear along the perforations properly... having recently consumed spiced rum does not aid in the tearing.

"Woah, see that chick losing her shit, she totally just threw a massive Paper Towel Perforation Tantrum... she must be drinking spiced rum..."

by J-LO 86 June 19, 2014

Paper Towel Math

Something that doesn’t make sense. I.e how the paper towel Companies are always trying sell you less rolls but tell You it’s more rolls. For instance Bounty 6 pack but the package says it’s really 12rolls.

Lance said he was going to send me a screenshot of his cracked screen…clearly he is doing Paper Towel Math because you can’t screenshot the crack on your screen 🤦🏾 ♀️

by Kdj28 February 15, 2022

Paper towel rich

When you’re definitely not rolling in money, but you feel like a big spender because you’re tearing off three or four paper towels at a time to handle a tiny spill. This is the kind of rich where you’re not counting sheets, you’re just living that lavish life with extra absorbency.

Alex: "Whoa, are you seriously using four paper towels for that little coffee drip?"

Jordan: "Yeah, I’m paper towel rich now. I don’t have to play it safe with just one anymore."

Alex: "Dang, living the high life, I see!"

by The Josh Speaks October 26, 2024

Paper Towel Rich

When you’re definitely not rolling in money, but you feel like a big spender because you’re tearing off three or four paper towels at a time to handle a tiny spill. This is the kind of rich where you’re not counting sheets, you’re just living that lavish life with extra absorbency.

Alex: "Whoa, are you seriously using four paper towels for that little coffee drip?"

Jordan: "Yeah, I’m paper towel rich now. I don’t have to play it safe with just one anymore."

Alex: "Dang, living the high life, I see!"

by The Josh Speaks November 4, 2024

wet paper towel

When you piss on a paper towel and afterwards use it to nut in

I ran out of paper towels and i only had one so i had to pull a wet paper towel

by Nibger May 25, 2017