The Living Impaired

Zombies. As defined by Bart Simpson.

(Upon trying to raise their pet, Snowball I, from the dead)
Lisa: Bart! You cast the wrong spell! Zombies!
Bart: Please, Lisa, they prefer to be called "the living impaired."

by Nacerak August 16, 2006

Google Impaired

Someone who can't use Google properly. Often times is told by someone to look up something on Google but can't give a web address worth mentioning.

I was told to look for a site where you can get a free sample of a specific song, but since I am Google Impaired, it was nearly impossible to find.

by Justin H. September 5, 2005

visually impaired

Politically correct term for blindness.

He is not blind as a bat! He's visually impaired.

by Downstrike April 8, 2006

Order impaired

the ability to loose your IQ or most of it at the moment of ordering food.

this can be more accentuated if the person taking the order is a female waitress

waitress: hi what would you like to order

himmy: ahhhh, mmmmm, uuuhhhh, no no wait.

waitress: oh i see you are an order impaired person its ok.

by zequimos December 19, 2011

Reality Impaired

The state of mind that a person experiences when taking prescribed Vicodin pills.

Too many vicodin pills, have made you reality impaired; I am your wife, not your mother!

by URinMyMind March 13, 2009

asset impairment

To physically harm a person with whom you have a disagreement; to seriously mess someone up so bad that they need to write off their assets; Other forms of word include: impair his/her assets, assets were impaired, FAS 144, etc. See Financial Accounting Standards - FAS 144 for more information.

If she doesn't keep her hands off my boyfriend, I'm going to give her some serious asset impairments.

If he doesn't shut up, I'll be forced to impair his assets.

I made her so mad that she FAS 144ed me!! Now I've got some material asset impairment!

by CPAchic April 24, 2008

hearing impaired

An insult to Deaf people everywhere and to the Deaf community. For us its like the N-word. Impaired means a deficiency. There's nothing wrong with us. We can think, feel, and do anything hearing people can do.... except hear.

Frustrated Nurse: Sir, are you hearing impaired?

Deaf Patient:*punches nurse in throat*

by Deaf&Proud July 17, 2015