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Contortionist

Someone who sleeps at an awkward fashion in bed or couch. They bend their neck and upper back greater than 90 degrees. These people do not often use their pillows.
My love. Last night you slept like a contortionist. I took a photo as proof.
by Gigifernandez February 20, 2018
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contortionist

someone who contorts their body.
like very far backbends and other examples of flexibility.
by juunan September 3, 2005
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contortionist

the ultimate sex toy. I don't, however, know if two contortionist's could go at it, because they would probably orgasm before starting just because of the fantasy's.
Contortionist + Contortionist = Crazy monkey sex
by VA Boy August 12, 2004
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The Contortionist

much like doggy-style, except halfway through, the man shits into a sock and proceeds to beat the woman with the shit filled sock until orgasm is reached
"Honey! I got new socks...looks like its time for the contortionist!"
"Ok honey, maybe not in the face this time?"
by honeybadger1 August 24, 2011
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Condomitis Interruptus

Definition 1:

Unsettling practice in which the act of placing a condom on the penis ceases to be necessary due to loss of erection. Generally brought on by anti-depressant medications, also know as SSRIs (Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors).

Alternate spelling: Condomitus Interruptus.

Definition 2:

Alternate form of birth control similar to coitus interruptus without making it as far as penetration; to be anticipated occasionally by younger women consorting with older men who take SSRIs (Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors).

Definition 3:

Interruption of condom placement due to limp dick, whiskey dick, or related erectile issues brought on by excessive alcohol, stress, medications, or shock upon seeing one's partner disrobe.

Definition 4:

Safe sex due to loss of boner and subsequent loss of rubber.
"Shit, babe. You lost your hard-on again? Hey - I'm all for you feeling more upbeat about life, but I'm sick of this recurring Condomitis Interruptus."

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"Dammit Sam. How much Condomitis Interruptus do I have to put up with? You think you're depressed now? Get off the fucking happy pills or I'm leaving your sorry ass."
by BigLittleWolf August 10, 2009
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Mongolian contortionists

People that do something that's already been done, they at least found it themselves. The below phrase is used now on the internet forum High Impact Halo whenever somebody finds a new trick that turns out to actually not be so new.
I've seen professional Mongolian contortionists do that before.
by Orange Soda King October 21, 2009
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penis contortion

The act of being able to bend, stretch, squeeze or twist the penis and ball bags in a number of unconventional positions.

i.e you have the 'snail position': twisting the ball bag so that it falls on top of the erect penis to imitate the shell of the snail

the 'female position': placing the penis in between the balls and streching it to hide it in between your legs. Then use the skin of the ball bags to create two labia flaps.
Dude 1: hey dude, i,ve decided what i want to do with my life!

Dude 2: what?

Dude 1: run away to the circus and be a penis contortionist
by syrecia February 10, 2008
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