a sexual act designed to tell a story through symbolic devices: specifically in this case, that story is the history of Canada. As an element of foreplay, the man pours some maple syrup on the woman's body, and licks it off of her abdomen, breasts, nipples, and vulva in that respective order. In honor of Samuel De Champlain's voyage by canoe through Lake Nipissing, the man rubs is penis lengthwise along the woman's vulva, and she bears down hard to spray his genitals with her urine. Then the man and woman perform oral sex on each other, burying their faces in each other's pubic hair, representing the fur trade. The man has intercourse with the woman doggy style, while slapping her buttocks vigorously, representing the French and Indian Wars. He also fists the woman's vagina; however she subsequently fists the man's anus; this exchange represents the War of 1812. After this point in history, Canada is known mostly for participatory, but not pivotal roles in world affairs. Therefore, any combination of missionary position and fingering are used to bring the woman to orgasm, representing the post-WWII prosperity of the country. Finally, the man ejaculates all over the woman's face, representing the sovereignty of Quebec.
Wife: I just feel like there isn't any excitement in our sex life, eh.
Husband: I think it's that we just don't have enough energy after all our other responsibilities, eh, the kids, work.
Marriage Counselor: Like I haven't heard that a trillion fucking times, eh!! You two should learn Canada's History like any responsible citizens would! Now get the fuck out and fuck!!!
Husband: I think it's that we just don't have enough energy after all our other responsibilities, eh, the kids, work.
Marriage Counselor: Like I haven't heard that a trillion fucking times, eh!! You two should learn Canada's History like any responsible citizens would! Now get the fuck out and fuck!!!
by Guffaw February 05, 2010
Defined by Stephen Colbert of the Colbert report("Coal-bear Re-pore") as a sex act that uses Moose antlers (including the skull), maple syrup, and the stanley cup. This sexuall act is performed when two gay french canadians give eachother hot maple syrup enemas, and then release maple syrup covered fecalmater into the stanley cup. Soon after said gay french canadians battle to the death with moose antlers and reach arounds........the survivor gets a large serving of french fries and gravy for pleasing the canadian moose god (a.k.a. the maple moose)
1-"Man frank sure is walking funny".
2- "He must of had too much "canada history" last night"
1- "ahhhh so thats why his farts smell like maple syrup, and french fries with gravy".
2- "He must of had too much "canada history" last night"
1- "ahhhh so thats why his farts smell like maple syrup, and french fries with gravy".
by Red A. Massive February 05, 2010
CH is a special act during which a prepubescent male moose is fed maple syrup for no less than 3 months, during that time all fecal matter is collected in a cup-like vessel made of silver and nickel-alloy commonly refereed to as the Stanley Cup.
After that time the moose is sure to have died of diabetes and its set of antlers and the filled cup are used to disable all inhibitions in post-menopausal killer-whales which in turn enables cross breeding with African Elephants to help stabilize their numbers.
This has led to an increase in Elephants over the recent months and their status as an endangered species is close to being revoked.
After that time the moose is sure to have died of diabetes and its set of antlers and the filled cup are used to disable all inhibitions in post-menopausal killer-whales which in turn enables cross breeding with African Elephants to help stabilize their numbers.
This has led to an increase in Elephants over the recent months and their status as an endangered species is close to being revoked.
Thanks to Canadas History, we can start poaching again.
If it weren't for a lot of Canada's History, ebony would be twice as expensive
If it weren't for a lot of Canada's History, ebony would be twice as expensive
by Africanelephantlover February 06, 2010
This terrifying, little-practiced sex act requires elaborate staging and great acrobatic strength. First, the nude, submissive participant stands before the Stanley cup. The submissive lowers their head into the cup. The dominant participant approaches from behind with a decanter of warmed maple syrup, which is poured liberally onto the head and genitals of the submissive. Using thinly-sliced Canadian bacon as a prophylactic, the dominant penetrates the anus of the submissive with the body part or object of their choice, while simultaneously scoring the submissive's back with the antlers of a moose. Coitus ensues. Traditionally, the climax of either partner is marked by shouting the name of the band Rush's singer and bass player, "Geddy Lee!"
by dragonfucker February 06, 2010
When you pour maple syrup all over your balls and dip them in someones mouth while pissing up their nose and shitting on a Canadian flag
by Peter McPeterson February 05, 2010
by projectA91 February 05, 2010
A depraved sex act in which partners rip off their maple soaked denim underwear using moose antlers attached to their heads. The womans head is then sumbmerged in the stanley cup full of maple syrup while the man chokes her with his suspenders while plowing her in the rectum. Right before she passes out from lack of oxygen she wacks him in the balls repeatedly with a hockey stick to let him know "it is time" at which point he defficates in her mouth as she comes up for air. Finally they shove hockey pucks in each other anuses and continue intercourse as usual the act is only complete when the woman tranfers the man's maple soaked feces back to him orally.
All of this is done on under the watchful eye of The Beaver, however this act is rarely completed before the couple is eaten by a canadian bear
All of this is done on under the watchful eye of The Beaver, however this act is rarely completed before the couple is eaten by a canadian bear
by BigredXIII February 05, 2010