Bagel

A big zero. Someone who doesn't bring anything to the table.

kevin: let's go out tonight!
joey: nah, bro, i'm gonna stay in and play video games/
kevin: wow, stop being a bagel!

by alumsquad August 31, 2011

Bagel

This is the most important thing in all of existence. The bagel is love, life, and tan. It's also the shape of the universe, or something. I really have no fucking idea. It's important tho

"Bagel."

by Him Fromireland July 17, 2017

Bagel

The superior "on-the-go" breakfast food. Works well accompanied with cream cheese, butter, jam, pretty much anything that you can spread with a knife.

Bagels; A short story.

I like bagels
They like me
Bagels are good
If you don't like bagels

whydontyoulikebagels
Bagels
Bagels
Bagels

-Smitty McBagelstorm, 1891.2

by CharlesJJJ November 3, 2016

Bagel

A man who prefers a margarita over a whiskey straight.

“All your friends have a glass of Jameson, but you always get the frozen strawberry margarita... you’re such a bagel.”

by Little Blacky June 14, 2018

Bagel

Bagel Girl. A girl with a youthful face but a mature and curvaceous body.

Baby girl’s a bagel with her glamour body baby face.

by Jinxii March 14, 2011

Bagel

A woman with an extremely worn, stretched out vagina.

Ari's mom is such a bagel.

by Pete Best October 10, 2005

Bagel

A bagel: butthole bread

You're such a bagel 🙄

by Elzzbelzz March 28, 2020