Ass Monkey

A driver who follows your vehicle at an unsafe distance in their vehicle. A tailgater.
I wish that Ass Monkey would get off my tail!
by pseudoraptor February 19, 2010
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Ass-Monkey

1. One who exudes stupidity.
2. One who tries to be funny but fails miserably.
"The two people who submitted their versions of the definition before me (mojohojojomo and lee!) are a couple of reeeaaaalll ASS-MONKIES!!!"
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Ass-Monkey

Why do you have to be such an Ass-Monkey?
by SchwarzerWind September 01, 2003
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Ass Monkey

Someone that is so very obsessed with ass, though this is not where the term's meaning comes from. Rather, it is the behavior of these ass monkeys. They act like douchebags for no reason and are typically extremely unintelligent.
John: "Yo, did you go to Mark's party last night? It was wild!"
Rudiger: "Nah mate, I didn't. Mark's a fucking ass monkey."
by Jay Faraday May 23, 2020
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ass monkey

A person (usually a man) who i such an asshole that people leave the room when he enters and announces his presence.
At Jake's wedding, Dan was such an ass monkey that entire sections of the bride's family left the reception early.
by Andrew Rentschler June 09, 2004
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ass monkey

n. an individual who, when in an argument, just makes up statistics and quotes from authorities on the subject so they look correct
v. to make up statistics or quotes to appear more correct
n. Dan is such an ass monkey; there's no way that CNN had an exit poll that said that 87% of Americans want socialism.
v. I totally ass monkeyed through that test. There's no way Mrs. Clark will know that Teddy Roosevelt actually never said anything about anarchy's role in society.
by Monday's Dusk February 22, 2009
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Ass-Monkey

A "kiss ass", "brown noser". A person who is trying to impress someone by following them around...closely.
by Anonymous August 26, 2003
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