Jesus

Jesus, also referred to as Jesus of Nazareth or Jesus Christ, was a first-century Jewish preacher and religious leader. He is the central figure of Christianity. He is amazing, and he died for all our sins.

Dan: "Mate! Jesus saved me!"
Matt: "Mate that's awesome!"
Dan: "Yeah mate, he's the best."

by Jimmyjelly150 August 03, 2020

Kiss the Jesus

Catholic Church code phrase used by Priests whilst in the confessional instructing the unwary confessee to "Kiss the Jesus." This is always accompanied by the sound of a zipper coming down in a rapid manner and a loud, "BOING-ing" sound as the erect penis of the Priest, at the sight of a ten year old boy, pops out of his Cassock.

Gerald, Ten Year Old Boy: "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession."

Catholic Priest: "Say five Our Fathers and One Hail Mary and KISS THE JESUS."

<zip, BOING, followed by smooching noises>

by T&E August 16, 2005

jesus freak

jay carb.

no more needs to be said.

good god, if i have to hear one more thing about how his life is a walk with god from that jesus freak jay carb, i might just die!

by hmmmm... May 05, 2005

Jesus Christ

A word I say when I can't find my TV remote.

"Jesus Christ, where the hell is my damn TV remote?"

by Dr. Krabs September 03, 2009

jesus juice

my delicious strawberry nesquik.

chocolate and other flavors are gay.

like your mom

fuck im out of jesus juice, MOM GET IN THE CAR WERE GOING SHOPPING!
me: *buys all the jesus juice in the store*

by Ranger_Roy April 03, 2018

jesus condom

a term used for a nonexistent condom, derived from the fact that Jesus was a virgin and therefore would not have needed a condom at all. it makes sense, trust me.

so, basically, sex without a condom.

Yeah, me and Janet hit it off with a jesus condom last night.

by asbo October 30, 2005

Jesus Freak

A born again Christian who lives their whole life completely for Jesus Christ who first died for us. A Jesus freak is not ashamed of their belief and love for God. God is number one in a Jesus freak's life. A Jesus freak is totally on fire for God and just wants to spread the love of Christ.

I am 16 years old and I am a TOTAL Jesus freak and not ashamed of it because Jesus has given me more than anyone else ever could.

I don't really care if they label me a Jesus Freak...There ain't no disguising the truth! ;)

by On_Fire_For_God July 23, 2006