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captain stupid

What you call little siblings brother when your mom is around.
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Captain planet

When u pull a bit*h on the scootch one night and couldn't be fuc*ed puttin work in the night after so you recycle that ass.
Omar u captain planet'd that bit*h!
by Omarplanet August 28, 2017
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captain effect

Similar to the cheerleader effect, the captain effect occurs when everyone in the group, male or female, is agreeably unattractive, EXCEPT for one individual. That individual is deemed the captain because he or she commands the outer attention of the group, AND is undoubtedly the best looking of the bunch. However, without his or her crew the captain is nothing.

Ex. If you have 4 girls in a group and all of them are the same, except 1 girl is noticeably taller and slimmer, who do you sleep with?

a. 1 of the 3. You have better chances.
b. The 1 exception. She's the captain.
c. All of the above. "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts." –Aristotle
d. None of the above. You've got a computer at home.

"A captain without his crew plays with his ship, alone, by himself, in the middle of the sea, where plenty of fish do NOT exist."
–Creeper at the bar
Bro 1: You see that girl?
Bro 2: Which one? They're all ugly.
Bro 1: The good-looking one.
Bro 2: She only looks good because everyone else is way uglier than her. It's the captain effect.
Bro 1: Well, I'd still do her.
Bro 2: Well, that's because you have beer goggles.
by Burt M. September 6, 2017
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captains meeting

When one leader of a country or other territory would meet with other leaders and they all proceed to touch the tips of their penisis together, creating a manhood circle of testosterone.
I’m going to the captains meeting because I’m someone who goes to those.
by Coolguy86 November 27, 2017
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Captain Black

Captain Black is a Historical Captain along the Gulf Coast of Florida. He has long been known as a shark fisherman who prefers hand to shark combat to subdue them as he believes it is cowardly to just shoot them. Most people have heard stories about Captain Black as a 7 year old rowing out an old canoe he found discarded. It had a large hole the size of a five gallon bucket in it and he patched it with cardboard and a piece of wood he screwed thru the bottom of the boat. The screws would stick thru the bottom and he would sometimes step on them if he was not careful. He was often found offshore fishing having rowed many miles from land and offered a tow back to shore by the charter fishermen. One of the Captains would throw a rope off the back of the boat for him to hold onto as there was no place to tie it off. He would proudly show his catch to the passengers on the boat as they gazed over the back of the boat wondering why a kid so young would be out that far into the open water on such a small boat. To this day Captain Black can be seen fishing the waters of the Gulf of Mexico.
Captain Black is a seasoned shark fisherman.
by Shark Ass December 1, 2017
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captain long dong

A name given when your friend claims he’s fucked multipule chicks in the same week. And when someone is just a Cunt
Dick: I fucked 4 chicks yesterday
You: wow that’s so Impressive Captain long Dong
by Just Chucktesta April 21, 2018
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Captain Crunch

When a man takes a rather large dump.
Buddy is in there dropping a Captain Crunch
by Dlancelot December 19, 2017
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