When a stranger approaches you for no apparent reason and almost immediately tells you their life story. Public transport, bars and queues are the most popular places for the 5 Minute Mate to be found. Often they will start with a casual comment relevant to the situation and progress very quickly leading to you knowing everything that ever happened to them in their life in 5 minutes. They'll walk away leaving you tired and confused but safe in the knowledge you just made another 5 Minute Mate.
"Oh my this bank queue doesn't seem to be getting any shorter."
Me: "I know, terrible isn't it..."
"I remember once being in a queue for an hour just to pay in a cheque and then I was late for a doctors appointment to see whether the mole on my back was malignant or not. Turns out it wasn't but actually on the same day I found out I had a VD, I just mentioned a pain when I was urinating, you know a passing comment...of course I confronted my wife. She denied it. I was hoping she had changed her ways but she'd been shagging the Insurance guy. Last time it was the man who fitted the cable. It's funny you know, I used to sell insurance. Now I sell carpet cleaners...anyway no cancer but I ended up at the VD clinic and divorced. She got the dog, I was upset but I was always a little allergic to the hairs. I have a cat now. Called him Byron after my twin brother who died when I was 7....." and so it goes on for 3 more minutes.
The 5 Minute Mate.
Me: "I know, terrible isn't it..."
"I remember once being in a queue for an hour just to pay in a cheque and then I was late for a doctors appointment to see whether the mole on my back was malignant or not. Turns out it wasn't but actually on the same day I found out I had a VD, I just mentioned a pain when I was urinating, you know a passing comment...of course I confronted my wife. She denied it. I was hoping she had changed her ways but she'd been shagging the Insurance guy. Last time it was the man who fitted the cable. It's funny you know, I used to sell insurance. Now I sell carpet cleaners...anyway no cancer but I ended up at the VD clinic and divorced. She got the dog, I was upset but I was always a little allergic to the hairs. I have a cat now. Called him Byron after my twin brother who died when I was 7....." and so it goes on for 3 more minutes.
The 5 Minute Mate.
by Erica Cantona October 02, 2013
theses mfs have a literal spasms every time they see with ".EXE" at the end. They're also toxic little assholes that LOVEEE fortnite and cringey ass youtube videos and things that have died out like 3 years ago.
by Youcantusethisusernow1 May 26, 2023
The thickest tank
by Hello Andrew November 04, 2020
The way retards pronounce the name for the GP-5 gas mask (its supposed to be pronounced Jee Pee five). People who dont have know English as a first language, which are the only people who do this that aren't subhuman, may also pronounce it this way.
Only a western spy could do such a thing. Real slavs pronounce it right.
Only a western spy could do such a thing. Real slavs pronounce it right.
A retard: "Hey guys, I bought a 'Ghee Pee 5.'"
Me: "Its pronounced 'Jee pee five'. Get out of here S.T.A.L.K.E.R."
Me: "Its pronounced 'Jee pee five'. Get out of here S.T.A.L.K.E.R."
by Damnits August 12, 2019
When women say 5 minutes but it is often longer it is a woman's 5 minutes.
Can also be used to refer to any amount of time that is likely to be much longer than stated up front.
Similar to male 6 inches.
Can also be used to refer to any amount of time that is likely to be much longer than stated up front.
Similar to male 6 inches.
Mary said that she would be ready in 5. Of course that is a woman's 5 minutes so we have time to watch the last quarter of the game.
by CLS 8888 December 16, 2016
by Jessica_ma_G December 01, 2020
Pete "How do we get in the club, it's sold out"
Drew "Slip the bouncer a 5 finger larry. $20 should do"
Drew "Slip the bouncer a 5 finger larry. $20 should do"
by TheFinglonger May 15, 2020