It was a cold snowy November morning...a friend picked me up from my estate. We grabbed some food and entered a nearby hipster coffee shop. While playing catch up, a man got hit by a truck. Everyone in the crowded coffee shop stopped typing poetry on their Mac book and looked up. What they saw was horrifying; blood everywhere, truck shattered on the ground. After the paramedics arrived and pronounced him dead on the scene. We all decided we had to go back to our poetry and overpriced espresso. A few minutes later, the mans son fell off the second story and he was still going strong. The barista was in a bad mood after all the craziness and while trying to get a refill on my Bianca white mocha he was being extremely rude. With much despair...the words rang from my mouth “who shit in your Oreos.”
Me: cheer up
Friend: go type your poetry and I hope your flannel rips.
Me: well “who shit in your Oreos”
Friend: go type your poetry and I hope your flannel rips.
Me: well “who shit in your Oreos”
by madscatraz November 22, 2017
Get the Who shit in your oreos mug.One who deliberately provocative message the soul intention of causing maximum disruption and argument
by theguard1345 April 6, 2016
Get the Shit Stain mug.The random string of cuss words you say when you smash your toe on an unsuspecting object, like a table corner.
*Person 1 is using phone while it is being charged*
*Person 2 trips on the charger wire, enabling the phone to fly out of Person 1's hands, and to land on Person 1's toe*
Person 1: "SHIT ASS ON THE TOE! SHIT. ASS. ON THE TOE!"
*Person 2 trips on the charger wire, enabling the phone to fly out of Person 1's hands, and to land on Person 1's toe*
Person 1: "SHIT ASS ON THE TOE! SHIT. ASS. ON THE TOE!"
by bitchassonthehodickassonthego October 3, 2017
Get the Shit ass on the toe mug.by NorthBoy99 August 8, 2025
Get the you can't make this shit up mug.
1.) You run to the toilet, ready to take a wicked fat fucking shit. When you plop your ass onto the toilet you fart the demon right out of your stomach. This fart is always loud as fuck too, probably because of the echo. All of the sudden, you no longer have to drop that log.
2.) This time, you didn’t just rip major ass. You shit your brains out into the toilet. You wipe your coolio and look down at the paper to assess the damage. When you look down, the fucker is clean. Perhaps the most bewildering yet satisfying experiences ever known to man.
3.) You take a shit, usually comes out in one piece. When you stand up and look down at the bowl, the fucking toilet is empty. This occurs due to the force of your asshole, and the velocity at which the shit flies out of it.
2.) This time, you didn’t just rip major ass. You shit your brains out into the toilet. You wipe your coolio and look down at the paper to assess the damage. When you look down, the fucker is clean. Perhaps the most bewildering yet satisfying experiences ever known to man.
3.) You take a shit, usually comes out in one piece. When you stand up and look down at the bowl, the fucking toilet is empty. This occurs due to the force of your asshole, and the velocity at which the shit flies out of it.
(Runs to the toilet and sits down) (farts) holy tits, I no longer have to shit. must’ve been a ghost shit!!
(Takes a shit, wipes, sees it’s empty) what the fuck?? my asshole has never been this clean!? what an amazing feeling! I love ghost shits!
(Takes a shit, looks at the bowl and sees its empty) where in the fuck did that shit go?? was it a ghost shit?? did I even shit?? does this mean I don’t have to wipe??
(Takes a shit, wipes, sees it’s empty) what the fuck?? my asshole has never been this clean!? what an amazing feeling! I love ghost shits!
(Takes a shit, looks at the bowl and sees its empty) where in the fuck did that shit go?? was it a ghost shit?? did I even shit?? does this mean I don’t have to wipe??
by Crispy D’Angelo January 30, 2020
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