facebook dead

When a person hasn't accessed his facebook account for a long period of time and doesn't intend to do so for another long period of time, the person is said to be facebook dead.

If facebook death is caused to due the actual death of the person, you just call it 'Dead'.

Often people who have a vibrant social life outside the internet are the ones who are facebook dead.
It is an EXTREMELY rare condition.

Steve: Hey, why is John never online on facebook?
Rick: 'Cos he's facebook dead, man!
Steve: Ah, no, look, there he is!
Rick: NOOOOOO, run, he's a facebook zombie now!!!

by hcranomtsaleht December 13, 2012

Facebook Friend Massacre

When you go on a "defriending" rampage on Facebook, and delete hundreds of people, with or without a reason.

Johnny: "What did you do last night"
Charlize: I unfriended 500 people off Facebook last night"
Johnny: "Wow thats one hell of a Facebook Friend Massacre"
Charlize: "Yeah it really is a fuckton of people!"

by dob293 January 1, 2013

Facebook reburn

When you're scrolling down your news feed to see what's happened since you last checked and hit photos / statuses that you've already seen. This is followed by a sense of remorse and pity for your perceived lack of social life, tinged by anger at your friends for not posting more new stuff to keep you entertained.

Tristan logged on, saw his notifications, and got excited at the thought of all the new things that must have happened since his last logon. He only got 20 seconds of scrolling in before he hit the deja vu photos and logged off in sadness. This is known as Facebook reburn.

by Suite 2B41 January 25, 2013

Facebook Insomniac Effect

When you're up late at night and you posts on Facebook instantly when they're posted. Essentially it's where the later you stay up, the less people post. Anything after Midnight tends to be Pages posting stupid stuff, but none of your friends actually post interesting content. So when something comes along that's actually cool, or in rare instances like when your friends actually tag you in a post or comment on your status, you get really excited and respond fast. It's a bit like a bell curve, during the day when you get a lot of notifications you're kinda like eh, whatever, and you're barely excited, but the later it gets the more exciting it gets....

It was around 4am when the Facebook Insomniac Effect happened: I was tagged in a video and I found myself bursting into flames, flames of excitement.

by delaware dongle March 25, 2013

Facebook Spelunking

The act of commenting on or liking posts, comments or photos from two or more years ago.

Why is this photo from 2009 in my feed? Oh, he must have been Facebook spelunking.

by jubjubmacrub May 22, 2013

Facebook Battleship

Head games people play while facebooking on their laptops.

Oh man, I can't believe she just posted that. It's like she thinks we are playing Facebook Battleship.

by MonkeyFrog July 13, 2013

Facebook

A website used to implant into a generally socially accepted person a sense of social awkwardness, when reeled in by the relentless advertisements of 'social networking', which is actually antisocial networking.
If you create and maintain a Facebook account, you may experience any of the following:
• A pseudo-friendship with hundreds of people
• Updates on people you hate's lives
• Explosive diarrhea
• Being stalked by family members
• Headaches

Juan: Idk I feel like I have no friends man...
Hardy: Well do you have a Facebook account?

by fourfinger5s November 17, 2014