by white.shadoow March 19, 2018
Get the Guru mug.A couch guru is an individual who lives on your couch and provides nuggets of wisdom, advice, and the dankest weed hook-ups. The couch guru sustains themselves by consuming Mountain Dew, Doritos and porn. Example: the guy on the couch from Half Baked.
My couch guru hooked me up with a new water bong and advised me on how to fix my relationship with my father.
by Colberttoldmeto August 23, 2016
Get the couch guru mug.A self proclaimed thought leader that has gathered most of their “wisdom” from youtube videos, social media and a few articles (if your lucky).
Debby: “Rachael is going to host a cleansing cacao ceremony on IG-Live for her community. It’s totally going to raise our frequency, cleanse our chakras and protect us from mass media brainwash.”
Jack to Debby: “ Are you seriously believing that Walmart-Guru ?! “
Jack to Debby: “ Are you seriously believing that Walmart-Guru ?! “
by StellaFellaTayla August 27, 2021
Get the Walmart-Guru mug.The Master of All Arts. This is a person who is often worshipped in friend groups for advice on relationships and life. A person named Guru often has a very successful life ahead of themself filled with fame and money. Gurus have infinite rizz.
by REALOS9876 February 28, 2023
Get the Guru mug.A close relative to the FIGJAM stereotype (“F***, I’m good. Just ask me.”) but this slouch of a human is a recluse, often with potato chip crumbs sprinkled on his pudgy belly. The Armchair Guru won’t choose to dominate conversation by interrupting or speaking over others, instead he will both glorify the profundity of his experiences whilst simultaneously actively discrediting anyone else who he recognizes as a threat to his intellectual cachet in the hierarchical order.
His professed knowledge rests solely on anecdotal evidence with a paltry stockpile of half-finished trinkets that are mounted as a stately exhibit of “Yeah, As you can see it’s pretty impressive but it’s nowhere near as epic as the collection I put together at my last place.”
The Armchair Guru is a toddler with tall tales that are now taken on their word because he has grown a beard.
His professed knowledge rests solely on anecdotal evidence with a paltry stockpile of half-finished trinkets that are mounted as a stately exhibit of “Yeah, As you can see it’s pretty impressive but it’s nowhere near as epic as the collection I put together at my last place.”
The Armchair Guru is a toddler with tall tales that are now taken on their word because he has grown a beard.
I went to Dave’s place to collect the 300 bucks he owes me and this armchair guru reframed the situation into a lecture about how I was acting in my own self interest when I decided to lend him the money. It was made all the more insulting as I could see the bowl of green that he was choofing down was well in excess of what he owed me. So not only did I not get a cent off him, I had to listen to his “Sheeple” this and “Government” that, for like two hours before I realized I was wasting my time by being there.
by FredFredricks January 5, 2025
Get the Armchair Guru mug.She is the cutest girl who loves her family very much studies well and look gorgeous then every one . a little princess
by anonymous November 24, 2021
Get the guru sri mug.She is the cutest girl who loves her family very much studies well and look gorgeous then every one . a little princess
by anonymous November 24, 2021
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