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Emergent CEO

“Your acting like the Emergent CEO at the moment
by Hettie123 September 25, 2020
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emergency shitstop

It's like an emergency shit, but it happens while your shopping. You'll usually have a cart full of items and the bathrooms are "conveniently" located on the other side of the registers so you have to leave your cart out in the open, hoping no employees take your cart and put your items back.
"I had to take an emergency shitstop at Menards. Parked my cart, "dropped the kids off at the pool", came back and my caRT WAS GONE!!!"
by Northern Hammer July 1, 2023
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Emergency Suicide

Having a thing that can kill you instantly beside you at all times.
I am allergic to nuts, so I have a Nutella jar with me for an Emergency Suicide.
by Verboser284 April 20, 2020
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Emergency Flask

Flask of hard liquor kept in Desk drawer at work to take the edge off for when the shit has hit the fan.
My boss had a heart attack and I have to take over all his work, and you're telling me the 66 page payment requisition that was just submitted is wrong and has to be completely redone today by 5pm???

'Yes and its 2:47'

Fuck...wheres the emergency flask...
by yougottabekidding February 21, 2011
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dick emergency

A condition that certain clients will have, causing them to occasionally disregard their manners when contacting a sex worker in an attempt to schedule a booking. Individuals having a dick emergency will often not pay proper attention to screening instructions, will attempt to schedule same-day even if policies state that's not offered, and will sometimes even lose grasp of basic grammar.
ring ring
sex worker: "Hello?"
client: "What are your rates?!?"
sex worker: "WOW. OK, let's start with your name first?"
client: "I'm Chad... can you accept me for a booking this afternoon?!?"
sex worker: "OK, I can see that someone is having a dick emergency today... but let's not totally forget our manners, shall we?"
client: "Sorry, yes. So may I please inquire as to your rates?"
sex worker: "They're pretty clearly stated on my web site."
client: "Where is that?"
sex worker: "You managed to find my contact info online... I'm confident that you can find this information, as well. Along with my screening process. Thank you."
click
by demergency July 8, 2019
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Salsa Emergency

An emergency of the salsa variety. Usually used in the process of preparing salsa con queso while trying to find the perfect balance of salsa and cheese. Whenever there is too little or too much salsa, there's a salsa emergency. To emphasize the urgency of the situation, "Salsa Emergency!" should be shouted whenever a salsa emergency is discovered.
Salsa Emergency!!

I know you're concerned since we're usually the ones in charge of salsa emergencies.

I was preparing the salsa con queso for Cinco de Nacho and we had a salsa emergency.
by The_Hawk August 5, 2009
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Emergency Meal

The meal you get at a restaurant you've never been to and you are unfamiliar with all of the menu items.
Waiter: "What can I get you?" Me: "Umm, chicken strips and fries." Waiter: "That's kind of a basic choice." Me: "Sorry, it's my emergency meal."
by AbnormalJay November 23, 2016
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