dick emergency

A condition that certain clients will have, causing them to occasionally disregard their manners when contacting a sex worker in an attempt to schedule a booking. Individuals having a dick emergency will often not pay proper attention to screening instructions, will attempt to schedule same-day even if policies state that's not offered, and will sometimes even lose grasp of basic grammar.

ring ring
sex worker: "Hello?"
client: "What are your rates?!?"
sex worker: "WOW. OK, let's start with your name first?"
client: "I'm Chad... can you accept me for a booking this afternoon?!?"
sex worker: "OK, I can see that someone is having a dick emergency today... but let's not totally forget our manners, shall we?"
client: "Sorry, yes. So may I please inquire as to your rates?"
sex worker: "They're pretty clearly stated on my web site."
client: "Where is that?"
sex worker: "You managed to find my contact info online... I'm confident that you can find this information, as well. Along with my screening process. Thank you."
click

by demergency July 8, 2019

Emergency cock

Something you save for an emergency, like stashing chocolate in your desk for a major craving or keeping an umbrella in your car in case it rains.

I remember going on date during a hike and pulling out a thin tubular flashlight when my date asked me what it was for I mentioned it was my emergency cock.

by C12H22O11 June 22, 2022

emergency crush

A guy/girl who you like but you already have a crush. So it's basically a backup if your crush rejects/leaves/hates you.

Guy A.: I like her, she's cute but I already have a crush.
Guy B.: So she's your emergency crush bro.

by Ringo16 July 15, 2016

Emergency Spliff

An emergency spliff (or emergency joint/blunt) is a spliff you didn't bother finish, so you put it in your pocket for when an emergency comes up, aka. a situation where you just need some high quality dank.

Dude: Oh man, we're going to the cinema to watch Sausage Party later, it sure would be nice with some dank right now

Bro: No worries, i've got an emergency spliff in my pocket!

Dude: Fuck yes

by GolfWang69 October 2, 2016

Emergency Powers

Rest by sleeping

“Where’s Duterte?”
“Idk. Emergency Powers?”

by revolush March 29, 2020

National Emergency

Two very big words.

"I am officially declaring a National Emergency."

by BootyWarrior99 March 13, 2020

Salsa Emergency

An emergency of the salsa variety. Usually used in the process of preparing salsa con queso while trying to find the perfect balance of salsa and cheese. Whenever there is too little or too much salsa, there's a salsa emergency. To emphasize the urgency of the situation, "Salsa Emergency!" should be shouted whenever a salsa emergency is discovered.

Salsa Emergency!!

I know you're concerned since we're usually the ones in charge of salsa emergencies.

I was preparing the salsa con queso for Cinco de Nacho and we had a salsa emergency.

by The_Hawk August 5, 2009