Vance

Vance (verb): To have carnal relations with an inanimate object, particularly furniture such as a couch or sectional.

I wouldn't sit there - John just vanced that chair.

Oh my God Becky, that guy is vancing in the Ikea showroom!

Bob, that couch is dead sexy. I want to vance it.

by MIR482 July 27, 2024

vanced

to have had sex with furniture, usually cushions from a couch or chair

On spring break, JD got drunk and vanced the couch before passing out on it, and we did not get the deposit back because of the stains.

by vancedcouch July 29, 2024

Vance

The frothy mixture of lube, semen, and couch lint that is sometimes the byproduct of couch fucking

Last night was wild, I spent hours washing the Vance off of myself and my gorgeous classic Knoll

by Vance69 July 29, 2024

Vancing

The sexual act of adding lube to a rubber glove and put it between couch cushions and use it to masturbate.

JD was in the middle of Vancing a couch when he slipped and made it a love seat.

by DHyena July 29, 2024

Vance

Cash found between the cushions of a couch. Especially if it's dirty and gross.

Named after JD Vance, the unpopular VP candidate who the Internet claimed had sex with a couch.

Oh, man I'm so broke I had to go digging for vance just to buy some Ramen.

by JamesSPB July 29, 2024

Vance

Performing a sexual act with an ordinary, every-day object which is not designed for sexual acts.

“That tree has a hollow in the side, I wonder if a squirrel lives in it?” “If it does, it’s gonna get a nut because I’m going to Vance that trussy!”

“Hey man, did you spill tapioca on my new couch?” “Nah bruh, that’s jizz! I Vanced your couch, YOU GOT PRANKED!”

by bear_horns July 29, 2024

Vance

To have sexual intercourse with an inanimate object.

Do you think the muffin man has vanced one of those muffins, or does he just like them the normal way?

by Geek.blather July 30, 2024