A modern day slave. A person who does all of his/her spaz-attack boss’ dirty work.
When receiving orders simply smiles and says “Yes sir,” “Yes ma’m,” and “not a problem, I’ll get started on it right away,” but really would like to say “you want me to do what?,” “are you freak'n kidding me, can't you see I’m still working on the last “project” you gave me?,” and “why the hell can’t you do that yourself.”
When turning in work says “it was my pleasure,” “not a problem,” and “let me know if there is anything else I can do for you,” but would really like to say “here’s the shit you wanted,” “next time get it yourself,” and “if you come into my office one more time…”
When receiving orders simply smiles and says “Yes sir,” “Yes ma’m,” and “not a problem, I’ll get started on it right away,” but really would like to say “you want me to do what?,” “are you freak'n kidding me, can't you see I’m still working on the last “project” you gave me?,” and “why the hell can’t you do that yourself.”
When turning in work says “it was my pleasure,” “not a problem,” and “let me know if there is anything else I can do for you,” but would really like to say “here’s the shit you wanted,” “next time get it yourself,” and “if you come into my office one more time…”
Boss to assistant: I need you to do W, Y and Z now.
Assistant: "Yes sir/ma'm, right away master. Would you like to me to polish your ass while I'm at it?"
Assistant: "Yes sir/ma'm, right away master. Would you like to me to polish your ass while I'm at it?"
by Lonely Assistant August 3, 2012
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A person who no matter how much fun people are having around them can suck the fun out of that situation.
by bluntmaster November 4, 2003
Get the fun assasin mug.a classier term used by the upper class to refer to "sexting" the act of erotically stimulating another person from a distance via text. text can be in the form of instant messaging, text messaging, passing notes, morse code and even smoke signals. textual assistance is usually used while in a long distance relationship to keep up the guise of a "real" sex life you can discuss with your socialite friends, but also includes leaving sensual messages on your fiancé's corporate satellite phone or dirty post-its slipped to the twenty something secretary of yours you poke while your wife is at charity galas. while textual assistance can be used both to signal a booty call or nudge both parties in the direction of an orgasm...it is an essential part of the elite life.
(On a private ship at sea)
Butler : Sir, your mobile just vibrated. It appears to be a text message.
*Young heir to Fuzzy Dice empire takes one hand off the wheel of his yacht and picks up the ruby encrusted phone*
Maxwell Lucas Hetherington III : Not a text message Boothby, you silly old chap! This is textual assistance from the Princess of Luxembourg! As you can tell by the swelling in my Ferragamo's she's quite the dirty bird that one! Better swing round the cape and take a gander at that crown jewel before the cricket match!"
Editor's Note: Scriptwriters for CW's Gossip Girl recently asked for this to be used on their show to expose overweight, multi-ethnic and working class America to the wonders of "textual assistance". Angry gold leafed scrolls flooded in from all over the world to CW headquarters accusing the show of being too "tawdry" and having a multi-racial cast. For fear of losing ad revenues, it was pulled from the script.
Butler : Sir, your mobile just vibrated. It appears to be a text message.
*Young heir to Fuzzy Dice empire takes one hand off the wheel of his yacht and picks up the ruby encrusted phone*
Maxwell Lucas Hetherington III : Not a text message Boothby, you silly old chap! This is textual assistance from the Princess of Luxembourg! As you can tell by the swelling in my Ferragamo's she's quite the dirty bird that one! Better swing round the cape and take a gander at that crown jewel before the cricket match!"
Editor's Note: Scriptwriters for CW's Gossip Girl recently asked for this to be used on their show to expose overweight, multi-ethnic and working class America to the wonders of "textual assistance". Angry gold leafed scrolls flooded in from all over the world to CW headquarters accusing the show of being too "tawdry" and having a multi-racial cast. For fear of losing ad revenues, it was pulled from the script.
by hitler of grammatical nazis May 24, 2009
Get the textual assistance mug.Hey Steve security looks pretty tight up there no way there getting my blow here put this in my ass it will only take a second. No problem bro I'm always ready with the boof assist.
by Tipperwook October 14, 2019
Get the Boof Assist mug.The name belonging to a sexy humble man, with a pretty nice behind. He is so loveable and the perfect prince charming. After sweeping so many girls off their feet, he finally settled down with that one chica. Am amazing boyfriend, and perfect companion for anytime, anywhere. Up for almost anything. He's got jokes like the joker and walks with attitude. Oh, and apparently, he's pretty gangster.
-OH, it smells kind of like sex..
-It's me. My new perfume called Nigel (aka) Ninja Assassin. It 's the new thing!
-It's me. My new perfume called Nigel (aka) Ninja Assassin. It 's the new thing!
by Ninja Assassin4^* June 16, 2011
Get the Nigel (aka) Ninja Assassin mug.Bill: Yo! I've been to this pub close by. It's so badass.
Phil: Yeah, I've been there too. It's baddest of the asses bro!!
Phil: Yeah, I've been there too. It's baddest of the asses bro!!
by Blessed Sinner May 21, 2016
Get the Baddest of the asses mug.