I Put A Whole Bag of Jelly Beans Up My Ass

i said scuse me mothafucka do you like jellybeans he was like yea but not the black and the green ones. mothafucka who said i had to eat them jellybeans. To make a long fucking story short I put a whole bag of jellybeans up my ass and it's been 24 hours later and i ain't find none yet

I put a whole bag of jelly beans up my ass

by imabroomstick September 24, 2025

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The person I would theoretically report it to

Already knew and her response to being told that they were fucking was "That's none of your business." But you wouldn't be saying that of the genders were swapped and the behavior of the higher-ups I would tell would indicate that THEY already knew. There was no one for me to tell, the people I would tell had it out for me, and I was fired for not doing it sooner.

Hym "The person I would theoretically report it to already knew. And this was not a business decision is was and is a publication made. I'm publishing papers. You are stealing it because is it better than anything you could manage to generate with your mentally retarded mind and for no other reason. THE ONLY BUSINESS DECISION BEING MADE HERE... Is the one to STEAL FROM ME! Those are the 2 decisions being made. One to steal from me and the other to allow it. If I can't get to one of you I CAN get to the other."

by Hym Iam September 24, 2025

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I love hope

hope is a beautiful woman who has made every day with her special. every physical contact she has with a guy makes him fall in love. she has beautiful eyes, hair, lips,face and all in all wonderful she is kind loves love loves giving love and some how makes a guy die with love.I would lay myself in front of her to walk on me to not get her shoes dirty. hope is the kindest most beautiful girl in the world and I would love to marry her.

I love hope. 3 years at time of now

by cameronen September 28, 2025

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I don't have time

When you say you don't have time for something, what you're really saying is, "This is not a priority for me right now." The 'no time' excuse is seductive because it sounds reasonable and removes personal responsibility. Research has found that it's socially acceptable to be busy, even admirable in our culture, which is why so many people lean on that excuse rather than just admitting the truth: 'This isn't my main focus right now.'

When my girl friend asked me to help her Chemistry assignment, I was like, 'I don't have time,' but really I just wanted to binge-watch my favorite show instead.

by Emotional Cruiser September 29, 2025

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Why do I find it funny?

Oh! You don't get it? My symptoms got worse 2 years ago. I have been in agony for the past 2 years. I was in genuine cognitive decline for about a month or 2 before I started using this very specific brand of generic mouthwash which ameliorated my symptoms, yet... The pressure in my skull persists...

Hym "So why do I find it funny? What have you been doing this whole time? Well, I'll tell you what you've been doing for the last 4 years and in the words of our much beloved Megyn Kelly 'Watching me suffer.' From the aforementioned affliction that I suspect has something to do with the hole in my tooth. Agony and discomfort for years. You WANTED that to be the case. And now your colleague got shot and APPARENTLY... I have no choice but to be sympathetic. Right? Not allowed to be sympathetic to the shooter. Have to be sympathetic to the person that fucked him instead of me. IF I DIE TOMORROW... Are you going to enforce that same sympathy mandate? 'I guess he was ill!' Where were you up until then? PRAYING on my downfall. Yet I remain and he does not. God clearly likes me better. If I die tomorrow would you even say anything about it? Give me in death what you denied me in life? Get the fuck outta here! Where's the money Piers? Billion Dollars off The Joker so confident it would succeed took a success contingent payout. It's going somewhere. While I sit here and rub my jowls to try and milk the blood through my skull so I can feel like I'm not actively about to have a stroke for a couple of minutes."

by Hym Iam September 29, 2025

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