Posh Wank

When you jerk it with your pinkie up - like a Victorian era gentleman drinking a cup of tea.

I was so ready for an upper-class experience I had to pre-empt it with a posh wank

by Mbabane January 11, 2019

poor wank

When you wank into last nights posh wank condom

Tingle is so poor he has to have a poor wank every night!

by BigBlackTingle January 30, 2018

Protest wank

A wank which one undertakes after ones other half denies sexual activity due to disapproval of something you've done or not done.

The missus said she didn't want sex on account of me forgetting our anniversary. So I went in the bathroom for a protest wank.

by Captain snort May 6, 2018

miserable wank

when you have wanked so much you cant maintain your erection yet, you carry on desperatly trying to cum. In a fit of exhaustion and possible blistering, you give in shouting... What a miserable wank that was!

after watching that beastiality porn over the weekend, brian had a miserable wank, poor bloke!

by neil blisterhand! March 17, 2010

Branch Wank

Masturbatory act carried out in any branch of a multinational bank or other corporate entity.
Frequently in protest.

Got £120 in bank charges this month. I'll show them. Going in today for a branch wank.

by Branch Wanked February 23, 2011

Furtive Wank

a sly yet secretive gentleman's pleasure by hand and cock

guy 1 ' what the fuck you ding you cunt?'

guy 2 ' shit! what the fuck '

guy 1 ' put it away you dick, your a furtive wanker'

by hank grolok March 7, 2012

nanny wank

This is a new and popular style of music and dress, it's origins are unclear but it either emerged in Eastern America or Southern England where it is rife. Bands that fall into this include, the Strokes, The Delays, Keane, etc. It requires forward facing greasy hair, bad tailoring, knotted scarves and insecurity.

"CHRIST! TURN OFF THAT BEDWETTING LOAD OF NANNYWANK BEFORE THE DOG KILLS ITSELF" - my father 2005

by Simon Trosper January 20, 2005