shit-day slalom

(noun)
a day so totally crappy that it seemed like a race down a winding, spiraling, horrendous F-you course, marked by more and more notable shittiness happening to you at blinding speed, one event after another, and accruing more crappiness at every moment, totally beyond your control, until the end.

Man. Joe was caught waxing it in the office bathroom, then heard that his girlfriend cheated on him, THEN got a $325 speeding ticket on the way home. He's had a total shit-day slalom.

by Holly M S February 15, 2012

Snuggie Day

The day after a break up, tragic death, traumatic experience, ect. were you sleep, eat, cry, and/or drink the day away.

Person 1: Did you hear that Krissy's boyfriend broke up with her. She's taking it pretty hard.
Person 2: That sucks, she needs to take a snuggie day.

by ThePhilosopher April 29, 2012

Jewelry Day

March 20

This is the day that men traditionally buy their lady some jewelry in response to the gift that she gave him on Golf Club Day.

Erin: Did Rob get you anything for Jewelry Day?

Stephanie: Of course!! I got a nice new bracelet since I got him that hot new XBOX game on Golf Club Day.

by BigOtter April 29, 2012

St. Valentine's Day Massucker

(refers to the mob shooting in 1929 - the St. Valentine's Day Massacre and the St. Valentine's Day itself; comes from "massacre" and "sucker") a total destruction of hopes and dreams of people who sent Valentine cards to their dream-boyfriends/-girlfriends, where they usually finally have the courage to show their feelings, hoping that this would allow them to start a beautiful relationship - the hopes and dreams end up with a failure (because of being rejected by the "beloved one"), often involving being made fun of and laughted at in front of the whole class or school and eventually called a loser and a sucker;

Alan fell in love with Jen the very moment he saw here, but she was out of his league. He was always somewhere around her, waiting for the right moment to tell here about his feelings. And so there was St. Valentine's Day. He sent her a beautiful, hand-made card, where he described his affection. Not only did she rejected him, but also showed the card to all the worst possible people she could have shown it to, so they all made fun of Alan for like a month. He felt like a total loser and a sucker. It was his St. Valentine's Day Massucker.

by KurtSteinerPL June 22, 2012

Forty-five Days of Stupid

That time generally starting a few days before Thanksgiving and ending sometime after the New Year where everyone appears to lose all common sense. Highlighted by events such as Black Friday, Drunk Christmas Parties, Fights over parking stalls at malls, erratic driving on freeways, an unexplainable increase in the number of people out and about, and general chaos wherever people tend to congregate.

Dude this sucks. I try to go to a store and I get hit by the Forty-Five Days of Stupid. People cutting me off on the drive over, fights over a parking stall, crabby-ass folks in line at the check out, and clerks that look like they would rather kill you and stick you in a closet than ring up your tab.

I'm gonna go in the basement with a six-pack and wait it out.

by Bob1655 December 23, 2011

panjama day

Last day of the week before a holiday, where only the truly committed, attractive employees are still in the office. They are rewarded with fun activities and extra casual dress, normally pajamas are acceptable.

Employee: Can't believe we're going to be the only people in the office tomorrow.
Employee 2: Yeah, it would be nice to have the time off, but at least we get a panjama day.
Employee: Oh snap! That's right. Kinect adventures and sweatpants will make for an amazing last day of work before our long weekend.

by The Anvil Insider December 31, 2011

Five Day Status

The status that you gain when you do the five knuckle shuffle on the ol' piss pump five days a week. This is especially impressive at boarding school, when you live with a roommate.

Jim: yo, I never beat my meat at boarding school
DeSalvio: yo, i do it five days a week, either in our room or in a bathroom stall.
Jim: Damn, you on the five day status!

by Perry Hubes February 27, 2011