Shut it, turd!

Expression used to keep a bitch in line, or at least on a short leash. It is quite effective in asserting one's supreme authority, essentially conveying to the recipient of such a disparaging remark, to pipe down. But the true punch comes with the name calling, for there is nothing more denigrating than to be referred to as a cut of fecal matter. Indeed, the "turd", upon being devastated with such a blunt, scathing put-down, will have no other choice but to "shut it".

There is no other expression that is as insulting and psychologically damaging as this one. Perhaps a close second is "Bitch, please!" if delivered properly.

**Note: The expression, when used by a female on a male, packs the most punch.

To-be-victimized-turd: "Did you guys catch the latest episode of NOVA?"
Turd's master: "Shut it, turd!"

To-be-victimized-turd: "Gee whiz guys, why do you keep insulting me?"
Turd's master: "Shut it, turd!"

The CEO of the multi-billion dollar firm called his bitches into his office for a scolding. When one of the bitches interjected, the big cheese replied "shut it, turd!"

"You know, if I may..."
"You may not..now shut it, turd!"

by DSH31 July 5, 2006

g-turd

A surprise small amount of stool that that is excreted after an individual believes the bowl movement is completed.

I had wiped twice and was about to flush when I was surprised to have a g-turd.

by covfrrider August 10, 2009

turd tat

A tattoo that is received in a hole in the wall tattoo shop or possibly in prison. Turd tats are given by a inexperienced person with homade equiptment and not using safety measures. Most turd tats are the first tattoo a person gets that isn't professionally done. Most turd tats usually say "MOM" or "DAD" in homade ink.

John just came out of prison with huge turd tat

by SpooDog July 5, 2009

Zebra Turds

When a guy shoots his load into another persons butthole, and the next day when that person poops, he or she has little cum stripes on their turds that resemble zebra stripes.

Joe- hey lisa, how did it go last night?

lisa- good, but when he came it didnt come out until the next day when i pooped so i had zebra turds.

by xjayxpridex420 February 21, 2010

pocket turds

a paper left in your pocket after a ite wash which yurns into white glob which looks a turd

i left really important papers in my pocket yesterday but now all thats left arre pocket turds.

by the wringler August 30, 2009

Turd gauntlet

1. Deposits of animal feces on a hiking/biking trail or other recreational travelway. Left by non-caring dog owners usually because they can't bring themselves to wrap their hands around warm dog shit through a plastic grocery bag and then carry it down the street dangling like some stinking nutsack.

2. An impediment to mowing your lawn left by dogs whose owners have encouraged them to use your lawn as their personal potty or simply let the dog out so it won't shit in their own yard.

3. Sometimes left by nature's own such as large flocks of non-migratory Canadian geese, also known as sky carp.

I had to bunny hop a turd gauntlet on the descent.

by Jay Langley January 19, 2010

Turd lipstick

The effect of a common frat prank involving picking up one's own soggy bowel product and coloring a sleeping victim's mouth labes with it, making them look like they are wearing special bile-infused mouth syrup.

Miller was the victim of a turd lipstick prank last night and didn't realize until his morning coffee, which was a bit more tangy than usual.

by Diquey Tiqle December 15, 2009