Brown's Sapient Evolutionary Theory

The theory that an intelligent pre-human race with entirely black sclera (eyes) evolved to the status of a civilization and technological mastery greater than that of the present human race on the planet earth, the population of which is entirely genetically manipulated and produced by cloning. These aliens/extra-terrestrials may inhabit any number of planets, including in our own solar system, and possess ultimate power over the earth according to the theory. Intelligent apes from before human history according to Brown's Sapient Evolutionary Theory cloned humanity and dominated them as slaves, and presently treat them lower than cats, dogs, and monkeys, treating all human beings as political chess pieces and science experiments.

Brown's Sapient Evolutionary Theory is depressing, but probably true.

by CoaltownBrown January 2, 2023

Rice Cooker Theory

The Rice Cooker Theory is a modern dating metaphor comparing relationship development to cooking rice in a rice cooker. It compares uncooked rice to a relationship that hasn’t cooked because the “cook” button (intentional action) was not activated.

The Rice Cooker Theory was invented and popularized on TikTok by Filipina creator Hannah Lei in a video explaining slow-burn relationships.

She also framed it as a playful formula:
R = P × I × ΔT - α
Where:
• R = Relationship
• P = Potential (chemistry)
• I = Intentional Action (confession)
• ΔT = Change in Temperature (response/effort)
• α = Assumption (miscommunication)

Metaphor Meaning:
The theory humorously suggests that relationships require consistent effort (heating), clear communication (no "sinaing" or lid issues), and intentional actions to "cook" successfully—otherwise, they "burn" or fail.

Without intentional action, a relationship remains in a pre-cooked state—analogous to rice placed in a cooker that was never switched on. Emotional heat accumulates, but transformation does not occur.

Conclusion:
Feelings don’t cook themselves.
Someone has to press the button.

“I thought we were a slow burn, but Rice Cooker Theory says I was just operating on assumptions.”

“Akala ko slowburn kami. Na-rice cooker theory ako beh!”

by rice cooker theorist December 20, 2025

red’s theory

when drinking at Red’s, the bar on the sacred heart university campus, you get extremely drunk off of very few drinks. This theory has many witnesses to its validity, however there should be more testing as to why it happens to prove that it may be true.

“Have you gone to Red’s”

“Yeah, the Red’s Theory is definitely real”

“Oh yeah, definitely”

by shustudent1 October 5, 2021

Stiven theory

Shot man with opinionated historical theory and teachings

Stiven theory:
The Cold War was a Stupid misunderstanding

by Fffffffffffffffr December 8, 2023

sam r’s theory

the theory is that certain times of the day go by slower or faster than others even though they’re the same amount of hours..example, 7 am to 8 am goes by faster than 10 am to 11 am.

boy 1: woah dude it’s already 8:45?
boy 2: dude last time i checked it was 7:15

boy 1: it’s sam r’s theory!!!

by kittyluver22 March 18, 2022

anti-conspiracy theory

A conspiracy theory that makes your 40 year old Facebook mom believe they should get vaccinated or believe the earth is round.

Anti-conspiracy theory: “The earth is actually flat, however the government wants you to thinks its flat. When in reality it’s round”

by Startupedition May 10, 2023

Knuckle Theory

A theory used by measuring the number of days in a month. If your index finger touches your knuckle of your hands, the month has 31 days, while if you touch the skin of your fist, it has 30 (with the exception of February).

Scott: Dude, how many days are there in August?

Dave: 31.

Scott: Isn't it 30?

Dave: Use the Knuckle Theory.

by OpeN333 October 22, 2013