burp your turtle

to masterbate

why don't you go burp your turtle and leave me alone

by fupabox April 29, 2009

Three-eyed Turtle

Appeared in a 70's issue of National Lampoon describing a sex act involving a train situation - synonymous with "airtight" - one weenie in each of a woman's three orifices - oral, genital, and anal.

Jessica tried the French Kayak with the baseball team, but it was not as fulfilling as the Three-eyed Turtle.

by Rveil July 19, 2004

Turtle-back Sack

When a males scrotum is hard like a turtle's shell.

Man, these tighty whities gave me a turtle-back sack.

by Ank D. Holla January 8, 2009

punt out a turtle

To defecate.

I'm going to be late, got to punt out a turtle.

by Private Gomer Pyle May 13, 2010

Bishop in a turtle neck

An un-circumsized penis

My penis looks like a bishop in a turtle neck.

by heyheybaybay123456789 February 2, 2012

real turtle hours

A time at which (usually at night) Fortman comes out of hiding from his shell and goes on a drive in his Mercedes around the block in his Ray Bands. During real turtle hours he may text in the group chat with multiple typos.

Chuck: Yo have you seen Fortman?
Nick: Nah man but it’s real turtle hours did you see what he put in the group chat?
Chuck: Yeah bro, what the fuck does “it’s is our vortex” mean anyway?

by nickybangs February 6, 2018

two cats and a turtle

A euphemism for the male genitalia. Two cats (furry balls) and a turtle (the penis which retracts when it's cold).

Would you like to come to my house and sit on my couch and drink some wine? I have two cats and a turtle wink wink.

by Rudelittlepig April 20, 2018