Siamese shy turtle

When males' testicles or balls or gonads retract and shrivel. Sometimes due to cold or excitement but primarily in this case due to fear and anxiety.

Like two little turtle heads, connected by skin and sinew, pulling back into its/their shell.

Metaphorically similar to a poo shy turtle but technically, physically and emotionally a very different experience.

She was fun, interesting, sexy and his friends wanted to bone her, but the fact that she was clearly cleverer than him gave him a siamese shy turtle. Would she notice? Would she care if she did? Or, does the fact that even imagining approaching her makes his body eat his balls mean that he'll never have the courage to get close enough for his shriveled sack to matter?

"You know that Bobbitt story, right?"
"Awh, man, don't maaan. Giz me a siamese shy turtle just thinking about it"

by RastaVari October 23, 2013

Three-eyed Turtle

Appeared in a 70's issue of National Lampoon describing a sex act involving a train situation - synonymous with "airtight" - one weenie in each of a woman's three orifices - oral, genital, and anal.

Jessica tried the French Kayak with the baseball team, but it was not as fulfilling as the Three-eyed Turtle.

by Rveil July 19, 2004

Turtle-back Sack

When a males scrotum is hard like a turtle's shell.

Man, these tighty whities gave me a turtle-back sack.

by Ank D. Holla January 8, 2009

Bishop in a turtle neck

An un-circumsized penis

My penis looks like a bishop in a turtle neck.

by heyheybaybay123456789 February 2, 2012

real turtle hours

A time at which (usually at night) Fortman comes out of hiding from his shell and goes on a drive in his Mercedes around the block in his Ray Bands. During real turtle hours he may text in the group chat with multiple typos.

Chuck: Yo have you seen Fortman?
Nick: Nah man but it’s real turtle hours did you see what he put in the group chat?
Chuck: Yeah bro, what the fuck does “it’s is our vortex” mean anyway?

by nickybangs February 6, 2018

mutant ninja turtles

If you don't know what mutant ninja turtles are then you need to stop living in a hole.

Mutant ninja turtles are the best thing that was ever invented

by Dognapp May 15, 2016

punt out a turtle

To defecate.

I'm going to be late, got to punt out a turtle.

by Private Gomer Pyle May 13, 2010