by JayGeeMoney February 22, 2011
Get the Koont mug.1. An ultraconservative, hack bestselling author with no discernible writing skills whatsoever, read (and defended) by semi-literate Neanderthals who consider his tripe "real good writin'." Books are characterized by stilted dialogue, senseless plotting, intrusive author's voice, messy tone, surface characterization, tired genre tropes, laugh out loud resolutions, and metaphors so sloppy they would make a six-year-old roll her eyes.
Read by your grandmother, your weird uncle, a couple of your friends and that slutty, weird girl you knew in high school and/or college. Also: read by people who wouldn't know real literature if a copy of "The Great Gatsby" fell out of the sky and knocked them unconscious.
2. Author whose best fortune came when a man named "Koontz" banged his mama, bestowing him with the name "Koontz," ensuring he would be shelved next to "King," a much superior writer in every sense of the word.
Read by your grandmother, your weird uncle, a couple of your friends and that slutty, weird girl you knew in high school and/or college. Also: read by people who wouldn't know real literature if a copy of "The Great Gatsby" fell out of the sky and knocked them unconscious.
2. Author whose best fortune came when a man named "Koontz" banged his mama, bestowing him with the name "Koontz," ensuring he would be shelved next to "King," a much superior writer in every sense of the word.
Dean: "I picked up a new Dean Koontz today at Walgreens for 50% off."
Steve: "My god! You didn't read it, did you?"
Dean: "Yes, and now I've got severe brain damage."
Steve: "I see your brains are spilling out of your ears. Let's get you to the ER."
Dean: "Yes, thank you. I promise not to read any more Dean Koontz books."
Steve: "Thank you. I will hold you to that."
Steve: "My god! You didn't read it, did you?"
Dean: "Yes, and now I've got severe brain damage."
Steve: "I see your brains are spilling out of your ears. Let's get you to the ER."
Dean: "Yes, thank you. I promise not to read any more Dean Koontz books."
Steve: "Thank you. I will hold you to that."
by KingofCali008 December 29, 2010
Get the Dean Koontz mug.scenario:sum1 get hit in a game and they koofy fly off
loud mouth nig: Yo that nigga jus got koofy smacked
Smacker: yo stop hypin it
Smackee: Nope now we fightin' bitch
loud mouth nig: Yo that nigga jus got koofy smacked
Smacker: yo stop hypin it
Smackee: Nope now we fightin' bitch
by J M0C April 16, 2008
Get the koofy smack mug.by Carl Pickens March 23, 2007
Get the kooncasian mug.Short for a coon and a white girl that can't stop drinking tea and has a love/hate relationship with Mexicans. Typically has long brown hair and laughs hysterically at everything. Also likes to say "fuck you", and hates everything on a daily basis. Her life is very interesting.
by beean October 25, 2016
Get the Koonzie mug.Kinky new fad that kids of Metro Detroit take part in during their free time and immense boredom. The actual act varies from group to group, but almost all variations of Plo Kooning involve a luffa, body wash, and an open mind.
by GJVD July 18, 2009
Get the Plo Kooning mug.Description of a period of time, ranging from a few days to a few years. Typically expressed as a form of exclamation when first seeing an acquaintance after a long period of absence.
"I haven't seen you in a koon's age!"
"It's been a koon's age since Dirtball cooked me that rotten, dirty hamburger."
"It's been a koon's age since Dirtball cooked me that rotten, dirty hamburger."
by BigMike26 January 17, 2008
Get the koon's age mug.