A Turd burglar is a mythical being that takes your turds (aka poop) from your toilet at night when everyone is asleep, similar to the tooth fairy legend.
Little boy: Mommy when will the turd burglar come?
Mother: oh honey the turd burglar only comes at night when your asleep.
Mother: oh honey the turd burglar only comes at night when your asleep.
by BeeftGunkle June 20, 2023
Get the Turd burglar mug.Someone who simply steals your poop. You could be taking a nice dump, not knowing what’s hiding in your shower, or under your sink… as soon as you stand up from the toilet and turn away for a second… your turd will be gone because the turd burglar took it. You will not catch them… nor see them.. unless they’re over 34 years of age. They are either assigned to a person at the age of 6, or placed into a house when built, and will steal everyone’s turds that ever lives there.
Frank - “Yo… I just took a shit, and when I turned around to flush… it wasn’t there”
Marlo- “oh, it was probably the turd burglar
Marlo- “oh, it was probably the turd burglar
by Stinkletoot May 26, 2024
Get the turd burglar mug.by Captain Duke November 2, 2025
Get the Turd Burglar mug.Turd Burglar example:
My Dog ate the cat shit out of the litterbox after refusing to eat the food I made, which included the fucking $7 frozen salmon burger I cooked on the stove to mix in with the super expensive Dog food I bought from the specialty pet store! Turd Burgler!
My Dog ate the cat shit out of the litterbox after refusing to eat the food I made, which included the fucking $7 frozen salmon burger I cooked on the stove to mix in with the super expensive Dog food I bought from the specialty pet store! Turd Burgler!
by 1a4Chuck December 1, 2025
Get the Turd Burglar mug.by Aldo83 December 4, 2025
Get the Turd Burglar mug.