midwest

the absolute worst place in the us, somehow managing to surpass the mid-ness of texas, this hellhole of a place is absolutely infested with homophobes, strange patriots (the ones who spend their nonexistent money on too much america merch) and trump supporters. so wear a maid dress just to piss them off. or better yet dont come here.
(source: am from the midwest)
ITS CALLED THE MIDWEST BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE THING IN IT IS MID - random tiktokers being based for once
by xX_Peachy_Xx March 29, 2022
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Midwest

The only place in America where you are almost 100% guaranteed to get snow in April every year. Sometimes it even snows in June if you're extremely unlucky.
Person from the Midwest: "My father once told me a story of how it snowed on his birthday in North Dakota, thereby ruining all of his and his friends and family's plans."
Person who is not from the Midwest: "What's so surprising about that?"
Midwest: "My dad's birthday is in JUNE."
Not Midwest: *Literally faints*
by Ubeenbamboozledson June 20, 2022
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Midwest Fuckhead

These fuckers from da Midwest dumb fuckin shit head retares
by A retarded Wisconsinite February 19, 2023
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Midwest Cicada

When you get your taint tickled and your balls squeezed at the same time and cum without warning, leading to a high pitched scream of pleasure.
Dude, she busted out the midwest cicada last night. It was an absolute mess.
by thedrunkriders April 05, 2024
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Midwest Breakfast

The term Midwest Breakfast was adopted from a popular Midwestern service station chain, Casey's. To qualify as a Midwest Breakfast, a male and female fornicate the evening prior. In the morning, the girl performers fellatio on the man - consuming the leftover remnants that remain on the man's penis from the night before; presumably for breakfast.
"Debra and I did anal last night. She got hungry this morning and went ATM for some Midwest Breakfast!"

"Don't shower babe, I'm ready for some Midwest Breakfast!"
by Midwest Brkfst Connoisseur September 27, 2023
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The Midwest

theres literally fucking nothing in here
Person 1: Wanna go live in The Midwest?
Person 2: fuck no theres just fields there THATS IT
by Somebodyiguess December 22, 2022
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Midwest Lollipop

An alternative to I-70 or I-80 road head. The name for the act of getting suddenly blindfolded and tied up by your girlfriend in a two-star midwestern hotel off the highway; so she can whack you with a potholder, then fellate and ride your lollipop, while you lie there unable to thwart her fast food and White Claw-fueled demands.
“It was a long drive back to Colorado, but I gave him the Midwest Lollipop to break up the monotony.”

“Driving through the Midwest is tediously boring, but the GF gave me the Midwest Lollipop when we overnighted in Omaha.”

“Welcome to Iowa. Home of the Midwest Lollipop.”
by MammaCitaMeowMeow March 18, 2022
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