Left-handed monkey wrench

A fictitious tool. A monkey wrench has no left-handed or right-handed versions. Often used as a practical joke, i.e. telling someone to find a left-handed monkey wrench for you.

"Hey, will you go find me a left-handed monkey wrench? I need to fix this pipe."

by Fictitious Plumber January 30, 2012

Chris Hansen

Host of Dateline NBC's "To Catch a Predator" series and all around badass. Utters famous lines like "Take a seat", and "That's not what you wrote on the transcript" to embarrass pedophiles on national TV.

It is often said that emperors would pay entire bounties of gold to have even an ounce of the charisma he has.

No need to fear, mothers of America, Chris Hansen is there.

by Seth Einus November 20, 2007

hanes paint

Term used to describe a wet fart.

I had to leave work this afternoon because I had a hanes paint incident.

by Johnny Tats December 1, 2007

Hooky Hamser

1) When a gentleman loves his partner very much, he demonstrates his affection by warming a bowl of mashed potato to 40 degrees celsius. He then proceeds to feed the pony with a handful of aforementioned warm potato. Should this gesture be rejected, he lovingly smears potato on his fist and hook-punches her in the growler - this is also known as an Angry Hamser.

2) Sheikh Abu Hamsa al Masri (Brap)

Melvin was out in Hemel with this older chick the other night. Upon realising he actually really liked this girl, he decided to take her back to his mum's and perform a hooky hamser on her in the garden after warming the mash.

by Kevmon May 12, 2007

Chris Hansen

The #1 guy who got fucked in the ass by Fleece Johnson

Fleece Johnson: I sees ya Chris hansen, I likes ya and I wants ya, now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. The choice is yours

Chris Handsome: well I don’t think you and I will be doing anything any kind of—

Fleece Johnson: Ok I see you choosing the hard way.

Chris Handsome: *gets fucked in the ass by Fleece Johnson*

by BigBen2026 October 12, 2023

Hander

Slang for a hand job. A handy. A hander.

Can wait to get home, my room mate is going to give me a Hander.

Yo bitch! How much for a hander?

My balls are rocked. She gave me a rough handers.

by Eaton Holgoode March 7, 2017

back hander

A secretive handing over (usually of money) in exchange for certain favouritism (usually by some sort of authority)

The Businessman gave a back hander to the Politician in order win the large contract.

OR (NZ example)
Peter Sumonivich gave a back hander to Winston Peters in order to obtain a more favourable fishing quota next season.

OR
The Pharmaceutical comapanies gave back handers to numerous doctors in exchange for them promoting certain medications.

by will_haveachat June 27, 2009