emergency shitstop

It's like an emergency shit, but it happens while your shopping. You'll usually have a cart full of items and the bathrooms are "conveniently" located on the other side of the registers so you have to leave your cart out in the open, hoping no employees take your cart and put your items back.

"I had to take an emergency shitstop at Menards. Parked my cart, "dropped the kids off at the pool", came back and my caRT WAS GONE!!!"

by Northern Hammer July 1, 2023

Emergency Flask

Flask of hard liquor kept in Desk drawer at work to take the edge off for when the shit has hit the fan.

My boss had a heart attack and I have to take over all his work, and you're telling me the 66 page payment requisition that was just submitted is wrong and has to be completely redone today by 5pm???

'Yes and its 2:47'

Fuck...wheres the emergency flask...

by yougottabekidding February 21, 2011

Emergency Suicide

Having a thing that can kill you instantly beside you at all times.

I am allergic to nuts, so I have a Nutella jar with me for an Emergency Suicide.

by Verboser284 April 20, 2020

Emergency Inch

The act of pulling the extra skin down around the base of your penis to give a woman an extra inch.

My girl asked me to F' her harder so i had to give her the emergency inch

by Ilfigure March 31, 2023

Emergency Spliff

An emergency spliff (or emergency joint/blunt) is a spliff you didn't bother finish, so you put it in your pocket for when an emergency comes up, aka. a situation where you just need some high quality dank.

Dude: Oh man, we're going to the cinema to watch Sausage Party later, it sure would be nice with some dank right now

Bro: No worries, i've got an emergency spliff in my pocket!

Dude: Fuck yes

by GolfWang69 October 2, 2016

dick emergency

A condition that certain clients will have, causing them to occasionally disregard their manners when contacting a sex worker in an attempt to schedule a booking. Individuals having a dick emergency will often not pay proper attention to screening instructions, will attempt to schedule same-day even if policies state that's not offered, and will sometimes even lose grasp of basic grammar.

ring ring
sex worker: "Hello?"
client: "What are your rates?!?"
sex worker: "WOW. OK, let's start with your name first?"
client: "I'm Chad... can you accept me for a booking this afternoon?!?"
sex worker: "OK, I can see that someone is having a dick emergency today... but let's not totally forget our manners, shall we?"
client: "Sorry, yes. So may I please inquire as to your rates?"
sex worker: "They're pretty clearly stated on my web site."
client: "Where is that?"
sex worker: "You managed to find my contact info online... I'm confident that you can find this information, as well. Along with my screening process. Thank you."
click

by demergency July 8, 2019

Emergency Ketchup

The small and very handy Heinz Dip N' Squeeze Packets of ketchup from Chick-fil-a. Could save your life one day. The term was first coined in Georgia by high school students, now used primarily in the southeast.

Garrett: Hey Josh, thanks for coming out on this trip into the desert on a low tank of gas with me.
Josh: No problem.

*Car runs out of gas*

Garrett: Oh God! What do we do?!
Josh: Don't worry, I brought emergency ketchup!
Garrett:Fight to the death douchebag!!
*They proceed to fight and Josh emerges victorious and survives thanks to his emergency ketchup*

by TheWinnerOfTheBattle July 5, 2011