Matthew

ugly, stupid, unfunny, boring. no one likes matthew

I HATE MATTHEW UGHHHDHDHDHBSWJC

by pluhmm November 16, 2021

Matthew

A Matthew is the type of person to say slurs to minorities and then becomes defensive when they get upset. He catcalls women on the street thinking they’re boys, and gets off to Rolie Olie Polie.

Matthew got cancer…but he’s a Virgo?

by GonorrhoeaGobbler July 4, 2023

Matthew

is the best type of guy friend you will ever have. if your sad, mad, or anything of the sort he will be there and make you laugh. matthew is the most loyal friend or lover you will ever have. he has crushes and admire them from a distance but will never express his feeling because he is scared of outcomes. he will have people come up to him and be shy but once you get to know him, he’s the life of the party. matthew will always have admires but will always run because he’s scared of the future. matthew doesn’t like opening up because he doesn’t think his feelings aren’t as important as his friends and doesn’t want to be selfish expressing them.

damn is that a matthew, he’s so fun at parties but he has a secret but nobody knows it.

by roger1780 November 21, 2021

matthew

matthews usually like to listen to music specifically Kanye west. They are very sexy and beautiful people who extrude positive energy. You can’t never get bored around a matthew

Did you see that crazy guy yelling at a kanye concert? he must be matthew

by hhsjsie August 21, 2022

matthew

the name fit for someone who lacks common sense

"Matthew you idiot!!!! Why did you turn down the invitation to you're own wedding?"

by OMEGALULXD September 19, 2021

Matthew

Matthew's typically have great parents, ultimately resulting in healthy social skills later on in life. Matthew tends to have nothing that he needs, but something that everyone else needs. He's the man that the world didn't know it needed. He typically stocks up on plenty of snacks, but is in desperate need of toilet paper. Usually stocks up on Ramen Noodles, but has no idea how to cook anything else. Will go out and earn a surplus of money just to spend it on the person he loves (who is also typically the person who cooks for him). Believes he's stuck in the awkward part of life between a mom and a wife.

"Who's that guy that's feeding the homeless?"
"Oh... that's Matthew!"

by DaddyMattySutts November 9, 2022

Matthew

Matthew is the name of a man who is funny and smart and kind but most of all will be the first one to help you out if you need it. Sometimes Matthew goes by Matt but the best people call him Guapo because he is so attractive. He is talented in almost every sport and has enough zeal to power a small city-state for a century. Matt won't hesitate to pour all of that zeal out on whatever playing field or court he might be on, so be sure to pick him for your team. Actually, to be honest it's more likely that he will be picking you. Matt is a natural leader who will go to hell and back for you if necessary. In fact, he has been to hell and back multiple times. His successful leadership stems in part from his ability to empathize with all sorts of people with all sorts of backgrounds. He has a knack of saying exactly what you need to hear, and the thing is he means it.

Like all superheros though, Matt has some weaknesses. Dogs, for example, will cause him to lose awareness of the size of things around him. This might cause unexpected actions such as leaping over a 5 foot fence in order to pet the aforementioned dog. Another weakness worth mentioning is Matt's love, nay, obsession over meat and the various ways it can be grilled, cooked, smoked, etc, etc. Watch out Saturday, it's smokin' time.

All in all a Matthew is the kind of person you want to be around. Stick with him. He is a keeper. He will love you despite your best efforts.

Oh no there is a dog! Quick coach, start the workout so Matthew won't run away!

Aw Matthew! Thank you for bringing me ice cream. You're a good man.

Yes Matthew, I'll marry you.

by Isabel or Jackson September 24, 2018