Turd of prey

A big, fresh dog poo waiting just around a busy corner to ruin a poor, unsuspecting pedestrian’s day

I was out jogging in my brand new, white sneakers yesterday, turned into north street and went surfing on a massive turd of prey! I swear it was just waiting to ruin my trainers. I spent 5 hours cleaning cack out of the soles with my mum’s toothbrush!

by Nuphagus March 14, 2020

Turd Black

The ugliest, darkest color of turd.

Mike: Dude is it ok if my shit is turd is turd black?
George: Hell no dude you need to get that checked by a doctor.

by blackshitz October 3, 2012

streak a turd

When your cat or dog attempts to dislodge a dingleberry by dragging their starfish butthole across the floor.

Hey man, what's your cat doing to the floor?

He took a soft shit so the little asshole has to streak a turd.

by deadbeatwriter March 8, 2014

turd-blogging

The act of texting your friends to tell them about the crap you are currently taking.

Turd-blogging is an excellent way to pass the time during a particularly difficult crap.

by Jimmy Simpson January 12, 2008

golden turd

A person who is not a good person, (Most of time BF or GF). They are malignant, will destroy you and your life. In the end being you are the insane person who needs help.

Glen: Yo remember her from high school ? She’s hot now....

Gabe- dude don’t mess with her, she’s a “golden turd”.

by Linearity August 23, 2020

Turd Pause

When you go to the bathroom to #1 and the other stall is occupied but dead silent upon your arrival, pausing their #2 flow so you do not hear the demonic things they are capable of.

Girl 1: I just went to the bathroom and all of a sudden Alexandra was silent while I went #1. It was weird that she just sat there and listened to me pee. I knew it was her because of her shoes.
Girl 2: Yo, you totally caused a turd pause.

by officeworklife July 26, 2015

A turds jacket

The name of a particularly stinky fart.

“Wow, that was a turds jacket”

by Southernhospitality August 17, 2021