Jesus Hand

When you have a sore in the middle of your hand. Either from a blister or a cut, in place where jesus got nailed to the cross.
'man all this screwing has given me a jesus hand'.
by thebubbler May 18, 2011
Get the Jesus Hand mug.

Jesus Virus

A virus you can get from a porn site. Because Jesus does not want you looking at porn.
13 year old kid: Man, I got a jesus Virus the other day.
Other person: Did your parents find out?
13 yr old kid: Nah I have a porn eraser.
by TheNewJTM1 July 21, 2009
Get the Jesus Virus mug.

Jesus-food

Noun. This phrase was coined to describe really really really attractive females, because even Jesus would take a bite out of that.
Guy #1: Dude, did you see that girl over there? She's Jesus-food.
Guy #2: Oh yea, dude. She's totally Jesus-food.

*This phrase was coined by accident. I was describing my girlfriend to my friend Jeff. I said, "She's beautiful," and he thought I said Jesus-food. I then stated that from now on, any hot girl should be referred to as Jesus-food.
by Jackson C. June 20, 2006
Get the Jesus-food mug.

Jesus freak

This is a phrase which i believe should be explained in this song, which was written by dcTalk and is from the album "Jesus Freak" that sold platinum in 1995:

Separated, I cut myself clean
From a past that comes back in my darkest of dreams
Been apprehended by a spiritual force
And a grace that replaced all the me I've divorced

I saw a man with tat on his big fat belly
It wiggled around like marmalade jelly
It took me a while to catch what it said
Cause I had to match the rhythm
Of his belly with my head
'Jesus Saves' is what it raved in a typical tattoo green
He stood on a box in the middle of the city
And claimed he had a dream


(chorus)
What will people think
When they hear that I'm a Jesus freak
What will people do when they find that it's true
I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak
There ain't no disguising the truth

Kamikaze, my death is gain
I've been marked by my Maker
A peculiar display
The high and lofty, they see me as weak
Cause I won't live and die for the power they seek

There was a man from the desert with naps in his head
The sand that he walked was also his bed
The words that he spoke made the people assume
There wasn't too much left in the upper room
With skins on his back and hair on his face
They thought he was strange by the locusts he ate
The Pharisees tripped when they heard him speak
Until the king took the head of this Jesus freak

(repeat chorus 2x)

People say I'm strange, does it make me a stranger
That my best friend was born in a manger
People say I'm strange, does it make me a stranger
That my best friend was born in a manger

(repeat chorus 2x)

What will people think
(What will people think)
What will people do
(What will people do)
I don't really care
(What else can I say)
There ain't no disguising the truth
(Jesus is the way)
Yeah, i'm 16, a Christian and i'm not scared of being treated like crap because of my faith. Oh, and i'm not American or fundamentalist.
by Christian dude January 05, 2005
Get the Jesus freak mug.

White Jesus

"Hey man, I am done partying -- I'm off to bed."

"No dude, lets crack out the White Jesus."
by Jiggle Swami December 22, 2011
Get the White Jesus mug.

Sneaky Jesus

A Sneaky Jesus is sex so hard and fast that only jesus could have done it!
"Hey, i have just gave that dude a Sneaky Jesus!" Ha Ha
by Z-J May 25, 2007
Get the Sneaky Jesus mug.

Crap Jesus

Someone who keeps quoting borrowed, dull and moronic parables (simple stories that pretend to illustrate moral or religious lessons.)
Deepak Chopra is a non-stop Crap Jesus.
by rperazag July 26, 2010
Get the Crap Jesus mug.