Five-dollar Footlong

An "offer" introduced in the preceding months by those fools at Subway, a US submarine sanswich franchise.To be quite honest, this is one of the most insipid names for a deal that any marketing department has ever created. I'm sorry, but what the fucking hell is this shit? A five-dollar footlong? Are you motherfucking kiding me? Any fifth-grader can realize that "five-dollar footlong" sounds like an offer to take a pecker for five dollars. What the hell is this shit? A five-dollar footlong? Are you going to ask me if I want some mayonaise on that shit? Old bitch-ass motherfuckers. This is just destined to create misunderstanding, as follows:

Anonymous Agent #1: Hey man, I'm hungry as a motherfucker. You wanna get something to eat?
Anonymous Agent #2: You could go to Subway and get a five-dollar footlong.
Anonymous Agent #1: What are you saying about me, son? You saying I like dick?
Anonymous Agent #2: (Confused) What? Nah, man, I'm just saying that Subway has a 12" sandwich for only $5.
Anonymous Agent #1: Fuck you, man. I don't take no shit. (pulls a nine)
Anonymous Agent #2: What the fuck, man?! Why you pullin' the gat?
Anonymous Agent #1: And this is for that "double-whopper" jive you were pulling of me last week, you punk bitch. (Shoots Anonymous Agent #2)
Anonymous Agent #2: (Crying) What the fuck, man? I was just trying to help, son...
Anonymous Agent #1: That's right, cry like the little bitch that you are...
Anonymous Agent #2: WHY SUBWAY?! WHY...?!

Conclusion: Subway ruins lives.

Thank you for your time.

by MuigiKalash January 30, 2009

Five gay guys

One Direction

Hey, did you hear that new song by those five gay guys?

by CarcinoGenisist December 04, 2015

Crisp high-five

The crisp high-five is a high-five that stings a little and was invented by Sean sutton

Man dude that was a crisp high-five

by DracoMalfoy158 February 03, 2020

five nights in anime

a game by Mairusu Paua

person 1: i played five nights in anime
person 2: how is it?
person 1: good

by kyrian247 April 04, 2021

five toed sloth

Someone who is exceptional slow. Especially when running or in hand-eye coordination.

"Jack's a good athelete."
"Yeah, he's coordinated, but he's so slow he looks like a five toed sloth."

by Legbah February 04, 2008

five toed sloth

Somebody who is incredibly lazy, always late, doesn't like to move, or is just slow in general.

it originates from the animals, the two-toed and three-toed sloths.

"'shit dude, Jed said he'd be here three hours ago, do you think he's ok?'

'man, he's fine, he's always late; he's like a fuckin' five toed sloth or something'"

by fivetoedsloth October 05, 2009

un high five

works exactly like a high five but backwards(hands start together and move apart, making absolutly no noise). most appropriately used when someone says something omega lame shortly after giving them a high five
also to be used after giving a terribly limp high five

created by: connor and alex while standing in line at knotts berry farm

*hands clap in high fiving effort*
alex: that was complete crap we need to un high five and do it again.
connor: agreed

lucky: i love you alyssa
alyssa: i love you too
*alyssa and lucky high five*
lucky: that girl is hot!!
alyssa (crying): the only way i can feel better is if you un high five me

by Alias4557 August 16, 2007