California

pain made into a state. this state on the outside feels like a charming, warm rich state, but to all the locals, its nothing but hell raised up from the basement of the purely gates. homeless tents everywhere, crackheads invading 7-eleven, In-N-Out using white lounge chairs, trash everywhere, people getting into fights because of baseball. tourists of california, g ͔̀e̶̡͌ẗ̴͉́ ̶͓̏o ̱͆u ̥̀t̵͜͝ ̡̓ŵ̴̗h̴̞̓i̴͖͑l ̞͝ẹ̴̑ ̴̃͜y ̡̽ȍ̶̲ȕ̴̲ ̡̔s̵̡͒t̵͇͂i̶̙̒l̶̳̈́l̶͓̕ ̴̤̑c̴͉̀a̶̲̐n̶̙̽, ͍̂ ̴̲̀a ̠̅l̶͍̈l̴̫̋ ͍̍o ̙̈f̶̭̄ ̴̡͋t̴̫͊h ̧̔ĭ̴̮s ̙̄ ̙̓i ̩͌s ̥͝ ͍̋l̶͉̋í̴̯e ͔̓ṣ̴͑,̵̨̈́ ̴͈͝g ̘̂ŏ̶͜,̶͈̋ ̶̭̍ȓ̶̠u̶̘͋n ̼̓, ̜̀ ̲̂f̶͕̈a̴̗̅s ͙̏t ͉̚,̵̟͌ ͖͑R̴̡͔̀̓̏͠U ̭̯͎̖̻́͗̌̄́̕N ̛͍̩͗̌̀̈́̕ ̵̥͇͕̀͆ͅG ̪̗̯̻͑̇͜O ̤̳̲̜̹̹͠ ̴̧̟̖͍̺̐͛D ̙̳̺͊̒̈́͆̚O̵̰͖̳̓͆͝ ̨̗͍̰̓̅Ẁ̵̺͇̪̙̚̕͠H ̲̠̖͆̐̾͐̀͜A ̟͗T̴̩͓̩͈̓ ̼̭͖͍̏͌͛͆I̵̧̛͕̫̯ ͖͔̩̝͇̔̈́C ̟̳̠̋̅̀Ö̶̻̦͈̻̭̥̑̈͋̃̒U ̩̗̗͈̣̤̿L̵̦̓͝D ̟̏̏͝N̵̯̓̓̑͘͘'̴̜̜̽̚T ̡̲̤͓̎̑ͅ ̶̢̛̮̟̬̖̓Ǫ̶̛͚̮̪͔͖́R ̧͛͛͘ ̛͖̯̓̂̏Y̶͕͍̆O ̬̝̖͒U̴̡̪̾̔̚ ̵̞͇͉̫̏̀͜͠ͅW ̙͊̓͊̑͂͘I ̨̭͙̦͖̆̓̊̀̊͘͜L̶̛͈̔͊̚͝L ̛̳̤̀̐ ̩̈́͐̒B ͖͚̆͂̊͐͝Ḙ̵̼̙͇͖͐ ̯̙͖̇̒̀T̵͕̗̣̀͜R ̠̔́A̶̛͓͆̅̇P̴̛̞͔͔̻̰̿P ̡͆E ̢̛̜̯͕͍̀̒̚̕D̶̼͊͂ ̲̂̈́̓F̵̮̮̮̓̏̃̌̿͝Ỡ̴̢̦̻̰̱̼͂͋͠Ŕ̶̘̺̱̓̎́̎E̶̛̖͎̺̗̰̮̒͂V̵̲̔̊̅E ̹̘̻̥̏̈́̈̿̚R̴̖̝̭̈́͗̒͛̃̅ ̵̥̹̜͕̰̒ͅW̴͑̇͜A ͉̙͉̯̰͊͑͋̿̐R ̤̑̾̆̃̚N̴͓͑͆̇ ̡̨̞̮̖͔̔̋̂̿͊͘Ȇ̴̟̜V ̠̥̲̦̭̇̍͒̾̅È̴̮̞͖͆͆͆ͅR̵̡̲̦̱͑͋̓͠Y̴̻̏͘͠ͅO ̩̖̠̝̪̓N̵̢̡̬̲̰͓͋͑̾̈̓E ͈̔͒͂ ͈̭͌̈́͒̏͒͊͜ͅB̴͙̝͙͊͒E̵̥̥͙͛̐͝F ̢̨͚̮̺̓̋̍̈͐͊O ̡̞̞̩̫͈̂̌̉͛̎̐R ̼̲̮͓͐̍͘E ̺̰̔͗̂͋̈́͠ ̶̨̰̞̖̍̀̽̆͆ͅI̴̡̺̯͎̱͙͑T ̖͋͛S ̰̞̬́̅̉̏ ̴̨͖̩͚̞̫̃̚T ͖̬͔͉͑̄̉̊͆O ̋̕͜ ̙̦͎̹̼͓̿̕L ̗̬́A ̧͖͔̈͛T̶̥͐̇̐-̶̰̿ͅ

all of u.s.: oh look its the average california resident.

by t0ph4t1 July 24, 2023

California Wet Walnut

The act of dipping your testicules into an individuals mouth to wet them, and then smearing the testicules across the forhead.

Loren and his friends from California used to love giving each other California Wet Walnuts

by The4house January 30, 2022

California Transplant

People from California who have recently moved to Washington state or Oregon.

Tim: "Man these California Transplants are so annoying, always complaining about the rain up here"
Jacob: "I know right! If you couldn't handle the rain, then why move to Seattle?"

by Catfish The Fishiest January 10, 2024

California Milkshake

When one homosexual man bends over so his butthole is stretched wide, and two other homosexual men jack off into his butt hole and then take turns stirring it with their penises. Then they both drink the mixture.

Logan and I had the best California milkshake last night with Bryan.

by I <3 California May 12, 2021

california bulldozer

When a man rubs shit all over his dick and rams it into a woman's vagina.

Man, I just gave my girl a California bulldozer

by Tyler Maister February 26, 2014

California Cerulean Ohserpentus

The California Cerulean Ohserpentus is commonly found in dark, small spaces, like nightstands or in a pile of towels on a bedroom floor. It is nominally larger than than the California Caucasion Ohserpentus, but significantly smaller than the African version of the same species. The trademark attack of the Cerulean Ohserpentus involves a quivering exterior that moves slowly to and fro, and ultimately results in the victims convulsing, accompanied by verbal outbursts, from which the OHserpentus got its name.

Oh my! A California Cerulean Ohserpentus! I wonder if it has attacked anyone recently. Why else would it be on the floor?

by GoneSquatchin’ May 20, 2018

California

A place where the whole government is fucking corrupt and they are douchebags.

"yooo! the californian goverment is fucking messed up!"
"i agree dude!"

by TTROWitchy February 27, 2021