Johnny Koller

by Aaron Markell May 16, 2023

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Johnny Derp

A man who, through a settlement with his ex-wife, had his defamation lawsuit against her dismissed with prejudice. A man who, as it turns out, lied about his ex-wife defaming him. A man with yellow, rotting teeth whose fans will never admit the prime of his career is over with. A man who society is slowly, but surely, finally turning against & apologizing to his ex-wife for believing him & not her.

Did you hear? Johnny Derp and his legal team knew he'd lose his defamation lawsuit on appeal, so he got his ex-wife, Queen Amber Heard, to agree to a settlement where: 1) she doesn't have to admit guilt; 2) she's not legally bound by a gag order or NDA; 3) his $15M jury verdict gets invalidated & all he gets is $1M from her homeowner's insurance; & 4) as part of her homeowner's insurance paying him $1M, he had to agree that she didn't defame him, because her insurance company wouldn't pay out if there was malice. Not to mention, the news release put out by his abuse-defender lawyers and their soon-to-be out-of-business law firm stating that both agree not to seek any further legal action in this case. So, it means he willingly had his defamation lawsuit dismissed with prejudice in exchange for admitting he lied about her just so he could get $1M.

by Wayne "Loony" LaPierre June 26, 2023

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Johnny Derp

A man with such a fragile male ego that even describing him without actually naming him enrages him. A man who court-shops a defamation lawsuit because the state that actually would handle the case would immediately dismiss it due to strict defamation laws. A man whose lawyers will forever be known for defending a wife-beater.

Judging from recent posts on Twitter, the world is finally starting to see the truth about Johnny Derp. His most recent film underwhelmed at the box office, bringing in only 10% of the film's budget. He lied on the stand about his ex-wife cutting his finger. And, prior to getting together with his ex-wife, he was arrested for assault. But, of course, his fans ignore anything that paints him in a bad light. He & his fans are the Hollywood equivalent of Donald Trump & Trump's supporters.

by Wayne "Loony" LaPierre May 30, 2023

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Johnny-on-the-Spot

He's the guy with the impeccable timing

^ Teacher turned her back for like three seconds, and that's all I needed to copy every answer off nerdboy's exam sheet
> Dude! You're a regular Johnny-on-the-Spot
^ Fuckin' A!

by thurb March 31, 2023

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